Sex advice loves the obvious. Drink water. Talk about your feelings. Fine. This list is for the less obvious stuff that hits faster and makes a bigger difference than you’d probably think.
These moves work because they change what happens before, during, and after sex in ways that your body notices immediately. Research supports them, and they’re refreshingly simple.
1. Add two minutes of post-sex affection
The fastest way to make sex feel better overall can happen after it’s “over.” A few minutes of cuddling or kissing is linked in studies with higher sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction.
2. Do one new thing together before you hook up
You can’t do the same Friday night forever and expect your body to act “wowed”. Change the setup first. Research shows that couples who do new things together feel a stronger desire for and satisfaction with one another.
3. Do a 10-minute ‘touch only’ round
Set a timer. One person touches the other anywhere that feels good, over clothes at first, then skin if you both want. No goal, no rushing, no trying to “make something happen.” Switch at the timer. Sex therapy has used this kind of structured, no-pressure touch for decades because it lowers performance stress and helps couples notice pleasure again.
4. Make ‘paying attention’ the main skill
Great sex comes from noticing what’s working and what isn’t, then changing course without making it a big thing. Studies link feeling understood and responded to during sex with higher satisfaction and stronger desire over time.
5. If orgasms feel random, practice on purpose
If you struggle to orgasm, “just relax” isn’t helpful advice. Directed masturbation is a structured sex therapy approach where you practice solo with attention to what works, like pressure and pace. You test what works, then communicate it.
6. Sleep Is Not Optional
Sleep is underrated foreplay. One study found that longer sleep duration correlated with greater next-day sexual desire in women, and a one-hour increase correlated with higher odds of partnered sex. If you’re dragging all day, your sex drive usually follows.
7. Remove the phone from the room
Your partner shouldn’t have to compete with a buzzing rectangle. Studies on “phubbing” in relationships link it to lower satisfaction and weaker intimacy. Put it away and give the night your full attention.
Nobody has perfect sex every time. The couples who have a good sex life keep making small adjustments instead of waiting for the mood to magically arrive. Start with one change and keep going from there.
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