This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Katie Bloomfield. It has been edited for length and clarity.
A lot of people tell me they could never work with their spouse. But I didn’t find Danny, my husband, until I was in my 30s, and once I did, I wanted to spend as much time with him as I could — to catch up on the years we hadn’t known each other.
We met in 2017 and married two years later. Between us, we had five children. I was working in hotel management and helping a friend build her own business, while Danny had been running his own business for years.
After we started investing in property and found our strengths complemented each other, I suggested we try running a property management company together. Six years later, we now own £10 million ($13.6 million) worth of property.
While I wouldn’t suggest to everyone that they should start a company with their partner, the setup has worked really well for us because we’ve put practices in place to protect our relationship.
Avoid the blame game
We live in a no-blame culture — both in work and at home. Blame builds resentment. I’ve seen this a number of times when couples are in business together, and it doesn’t end well.
When one of us has done something wrong, we don’t blame each other; we never make it public, but instead coach each other in private.
Instead of finding fault with each other when something goes wrong, we look at what needs to happen now. What is the next step to take responsibility?
Our relationship comes first
Early on, we decided that if we were going to go into business together, it was our responsibility to keep our relationship strong and healthy.
If our relationship broke down, so would the family lives of our kids and our business.
One very practical way we have done this is by sticking to the 777 rule. Every seven days, we go on a simple date — it might be just a walk or a coffee. Every seven weeks, we may have a bigger, longer date, and every seven months, we take a short holiday, just the two of us.
We also keep the romance alive — making sure we consistently have sex, making it a goal to be intimate with each other at least 86 times a year, a figure based on a statistic about how much sex healthy couples have. We’ve both got tattoos that read “~86” — just to remind us of how important physical intimacy is.
Set boundaries around work talk
Every Sunday, we sit down as a family and make a plan for the week. It’s here we make space for work, family, and couple time. Every single thing is on the family calendar.
We make every effort not to talk about work outside our working hours. If Danny attempts to show me a spreadsheet at 11 p.m., I’ll ask him why he is showing me — it isn’t work time. Family vacations are, for the most part, work-free.
Occasionally, we don’t have a choice — we’ll have to work unexpectedly. When this happens, we don’t try to multitask family and work. We build in the time we need to work, and get it done during that timeframe.
Allow each other space
You may think that, as joint-business founders, we’d spend all our time together, but we actually work several times apart each week, as our working styles are different.
Danny likes working from coffee shops, whereas I need a quiet space — usually at home. We divide and conquer tasks — often taking meetings separately.
However, we really enjoy each other’s company — we’re obsessed with each other — so we love working together too.
Don’t assume what the other person is thinking
It’s imperative that we communicate clearly with each other, never assuming we know what the other person is thinking.
It becomes passive-aggressive and can be harmful to the relationship, which, in turn, is harmful to business. Both of us are honest, even blunt, with each other, but always in a kind way, and always in private.
The reason working together as a couple has worked is because we have put considerable energy into our relationship and ourselves.
We’ve both been prepared to hold up a mirror to ourselves, asking what we might need to change, and we’ve prioritized stretching our relationship.
I wouldn’t have gone into business with just anyone, but it works really well with Danny.
Read the original article on Business Insider
The post My husband and I run a company together. We set boundaries around work talk and prioritize our relationship. appeared first on Business Insider.
