In the Jan. 18 letters package “Get outside — and get outside yourself,” readers shared their antidotes to loneliness. It was interesting that two-thirds of these writers were women. You’ve probably heard about the male loneliness epidemic. Indeed, men report more loneliness than women and are more likely to say they have no close friends. And men are more likely to have no children, which is a predictor for loneliness in old age.
But there is a loneliness epidemic among women, too. Admitting its existence can be taboo when social activists and mass media portray single, childless women as the happiest demographic. However, according to a survey last year by the Institute for Family Studies and the Wheatley Institute, married women with children report being “very happy” at almost double the rate of unmarried women without children. Conversely, almost twice as many unmarried women without children report being lonely as married mothers do. And married women report far higher rates of physical affection, which is linked to greater happiness.
The idea that family is a burden and you’re better off alone is a luxury belief. Affluent women can afford to remain single throughout their 20s and 30s and then turn to options like IVF or surrogacy to have children later in life. For women with fewer resources, delaying motherhood often means losing their chance to have children. Being childless while poor also carries different consequences, as working-class individuals are more likely to depend on family for support in old age.
The decline of marriage has had terrible consequences. But don’t hold your breath for apologies from those who perpetuate the female loneliness epidemic.
Maria Kouloglou, Keratsini, Greece
Trade the shovel for a cleaver
Last week, widely shared footage showed New York Mayor Zohran Mamdani shoveling snow for residents after a storm — a welcome human gesture and an effective photo opportunity. Now, he is promising something far more difficult: cutting government waste.
As the Feb. 2 editorial “Mayor Mamdani, fiscal hawk?” noted, the mayor’s plan relies on “chief savings officers.” But these are drawn from within the very agencies he says are bloated with what the editorial called “tremendous fat.” Asking bureaucracies to identify their own excess is not reform; it is an exercise in self-protection. Insiders are liable to shield the programs they built, while politically sensitive targets may be spared and others selectively labeled “waste.”
Cutting waste requires independence and political risk. Next month, when the officers’ plans are due, New Yorkers will learn whether this initiative reflects real leadership. New York’s $118 billion budget leaves ample room for savings. But it is far easier to pose with a shovel than to confront entrenched interests inside City Hall.
Stephen M. Flatow, Long Branch, New Jersey
Scouts’ honor
As the Feb. 4 news article “Pentagon warns Scouts to make ‘core value reforms’ or lose partnership” reported, the Defense Department has threatened to withdraw support from Scouting America unless the organization sates the anti-“woke” whims of the current, four-year administration. I would remind readers that for more than 100 years, the Scout Oath has included a promise to keep oneself “mentally awake.”
Wokeness, in barely different terms, has been integral to Scouting since before its 1937 partnership with the U.S. military, and certainly longer than Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, born in 1980, has been alive. The secretary was not a Scout, but if he had been, he might know that his pressure on the nonprofit organization to adopt a partisan political bias is not loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, cheerful, thrifty or brave. In other words, his threat violates more than half the tenets of the Scout Law.
Stay mentally awake, Scouts!
B.D. Smith, Washington
Notes of note
The Jan. 3 front-page article “Historic paper trail is being preserved,” about Charlotte LaRoy’s epic collection of paper napkins, proved that ephemera are the bricks and mortar of everyday life. If we had ephemera from all eras, we could, for example, learn what it was like to go through a day as a Renaissance Italian or a Civil War housewife in D.C. The mundane, not the noteworthy, defines and identifies us.
Catherine Casteel, Winter Haven, Florida
To access memories shared in the most immediate and poignant way, collect postcards. Before a cousins’ reunion, I discovered my mother’s parents’ collection of postcards received from their six children between 1930 and 1960. In brief dispatches in a well-practiced format, they tell the story of places and experiences across the United States. My cousins were thrilled to see, for the first time, these accounts written by their parents, aunts and uncles at an age when the future bore so many possibilities.
David Wise, Grand Lake, Colorado
Charlotte LaRoy’s intriguing napkin collection and her revelation of the beauty of small, everyday things reminded me of my own unique collection: fruit stickers.
My hobby started with Chiquita banana stickers, whose intricate miniature artistry made me want to hold on to them. I noticed soon after that almost all types of fruit at the store had beautiful designs plastered onto them as well. Each sticker told a story reflecting where the fruit was grown, from giant bright red cantaloupe stickers all the way to triangular Guatemalan banana stickers. I now have well over 100 distinct designs in my collection.
I love collecting fruit stickers and would encourage everybody to gather things that bring them joy.
Edward Lyons, Bethesda
Post Opinions wants to know: What unusual items do you or a loved one collect? Why do they spark joy? Share your response, and it might be published as a letter to the editor.
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