As the Olympics kick off, we are reminded that this series of sometimes silly events means the world to the participating athletes, their close friends and family, and the nations they represent. As such, some participants will go to great lengths to gain a competitive edge. Some bend the rules as far as they can, sometimes fully breaking them, and maybe even injecting their penises with acid in the name of victory.
In January, German tabloid Bild reported allegations that ski jumpers were injecting their penises with hyaluronic acid to gain a competitive edge. Hyaluronic acid is a substance that’s naturally found in our eyes, joints, and skin, but can also be supplemented as a serum as part of a daily beauty regimen. It’s not explicitly designed to be injected into a penis, but hey, there’s a first time for everything.
The claims came up just before the Milan Cortina Winter Olympics and were eventually addressed by officials from the World Anti-Doping Agency, or WADA. So, is it actually happening? There’s no hard evidence to prove anything yet… no pun intended. But crazier things have happened.
Are Olympic Ski Jumpers Actually Injecting Their Penises to Gain a Competitive Edge?
If you’re thinking that there’s absolutely no way injecting your penis with hyaluronic acid could give you a competitive edge in ski jumping, well, you’re in for a surprise. Believe it or not, it might be true. Emphasis on might.
Ski jumping suits are measured using 3D scanners, including measurements taken from the lowest point of an athlete’s genitals. A penis that’s been temporarily enlarged with hyaluronic acid could measure larger, resulting in a looser suit in the crotch area, which acts like a sail in flight.
Ski jumpers are pumping up their junk to turn their crotches into sails. What a world. What a time to be alive.
There’s even some scientific evidence to back up the crotch sail theory, as a study published in the legitimate scientific journal Frontiers found that a 2-centimeter increase in suit size can add nearly 6 meters to a jump.
Doctors quoted by Bild confirmed that temporary thickening through injections of hyaluronic acid or paraffin is technically possible, though medically unnecessary, potentially risky, and could result in hazardous long-term risks like having a fat, luscious penis that can win you a gold medal.
The post Are Olympic Ski Jumpers Really Injecting Acid Into Their Penises? appeared first on VICE.
