As someone who travels for a living, I’m notoriously picky — not about where I go, but who I go with.
At the top of my roster of incompatible travel partners? My brother, Eric, who’s six years my junior and my opposite in nearly every way. At 21, he’s an extreme extrovert who prefers midnights to mornings and the gym to the great outdoors.
To be fair, we hadn’t traveled together in roughly a decade. But I assumed our vastly different adult lifestyles would make vacationing together difficult.
However, when he graduated from college last year, I decided to take the risk and surprise him with a trip to Beverly Hills. And so, we embarked on our first-ever trip together as adults.
From the very beginning, my brother encouraged me to step outside my comfort zone
When traveling, I like to keep the same five outfits washed and rolled in my packing cubes. Eric, however, has a TikTok-approved skincare regimen and different sneakers for every occasion.
It’s no wonder, then, that our packing processes highlighted our differences — my brother ironed a suit while I shoved Birkenstocks in my backpack.
At first, I made fun of his maximalist approach, but as his carry-on expanded, I found myself re-evaluating my own strategy.
Because I travel so often, it’s easy to forget that new places invite the opportunity to embrace new identities. Eric’s meticulous planning, however, reminded me of just how fun it is to shapeshift while vacationing.
Inspired by his approach, I threw in a shiny dress I rarely wear and a top to match my brother’s tie. I ended up wearing both outfits, which made the trip feel all the more like a special occasion, distinct from my normal, day-to-day life.
During the trip, we had fun trying new things and learning more about the adult versions of each other
Because Beverly Hills is both compact and walkable, the city served as the perfect playground for our two-day adventure, which encompassed bucket-list moments, like walking down Rodeo Drive, as well as more mundane milestones.
For instance, Eric and I had never gone out for drinks together, so merely ordering cocktails at a rooftop restaurant ushered us into new territory. Over a leisurely lunch, we discovered a shared taste for espresso martinis and halloumi, neither of which Eric had ever tried.
We also enjoyed a meal at a fine-dining restaurant, where we watched the chef meticulously prepare 20 exquisite courses of new-to-us foods — none of which we’d ever be able to find in our New Jersey hometown.
As we left the restaurant, Eric declared the meal among the best he’d ever had, and we texted photos to our parents, inciting jealousy over fresh fish galore.
At the end of the day, I realized no one knows me quite like my brother
Although I was initially worried about traveling together because of our differences, the trip made me realize how similar we really are. It was especially fun to travel with someone whose upbringing and, therefore, perspective matched my own.
Neither of us was accustomed to the norms of luxurious Beverly Hills, so we didn’t have to play anything cool. Rather, we shared and fed off each other’s mutual excitement over sights that were new to both of us.
During a rooftop meal, for instance, Eric and I spotted the Hollywood sign from our table. Although our fellow diners appeared oblivious to the scenery, my brother and I were, quite literally, kicking each other under the table.
Throughout the trip, we reveled in that novelty, reacting to the glamorous stimuli of Los Angeles from parallel perspectives.
Plus, it was nice to be the truest, most authentic version of myself on this trip. Whenever I’m traveling with friends or colleagues, I typically struggle to vouch for myself and resort to my default people-pleasing mode. With Eric, however, I didn’t have to tread so delicately.
Over the last 20-something years, we’ve become adept at moving past any and all disagreements; there’s no need to worry about a travel-induced friendship falling out or hurt feelings when we’re together. We’re experts at speaking openly and directly with each other, advocating for whatever it is we want.
Since landing back home at Newark airport, Eric has been adapting to postgrad life, so we won’t have another chance to travel together for a while. Beverly Hills, however, set us up with a new dynamic through shared experiences of our own making.
In a way, our trip to California was the segue to our friendship as adults — and an introduction to new layers of each other and ourselves.
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