He was a calm presence amid hospital chaos. A mentor who taught kindness and patience to younger friends and colleagues. A singer with a knack for dancing. A bicyclist who treasured the beauty of Minnesota.
This weekend, the family, co-workers and friends of Alex Pretti, who was killed by immigration agents in a confrontation after he was apparently filming them, remembered his life, even as the circumstances of his death were debated on the national stage.
They shared photos of the Alex they knew: a smiling, bearded Mr. Pretti in the powder-blue scrubs he wore at his job as an intensive-care nurse at the Veterans Affairs hospital, an outdoors lover posing with his mountain bike on a wooded trail and a student wearing a green cap and gown as he sang a solo at his high school graduation in Green Bay, Wis.
And they denounced what they saw as smear campaigns in the aftermath of Mr. Pretti’s death.
Within hours of the killing by federal agents on a Minneapolis street, Trump administration officials labeled Mr. Pretti a “would-be assassin” and asserted, with no evidence, that he had committed an act of “domestic terrorism.”
Through their own shock and grief, people who knew him struggled to rise above the lies and insults, they said, to describe who he was.
Rory Shefchek, a friend from high school who now lives in Madison, Wis., said that he hoped that Mr. Pretti would be remembered as the person he knew.
“He was a helpful, kind guy,” Mr. Shefchek said. “He was a confident, diligent and respectful person throughout his life. I hope that Alex’s story can catalyze change, as someone who believed in doing the right thing.”
Of the cellphone footage of Mr. Pretti’s death that has circulated widely in the news and on social media, Mr. Shefchek said, “We have all seen the video and our eyes don’t lie.”
Dr. Dimitri Drekonja, a colleague of Mr. Pretti’s at the VA hospital, was shaken when he heard that an immigration agent had killed a civilian in Minneapolis. It was awful, he said, even before he learned that the civilian was his friend.
“He was a happy guy,” Dr. Drekonja said. “When you asked him to do something, it would be done and it would be done right.”
Mr. Pretti, who was 37, was on the front lines of the Covid-19 pandemic, and was always eager to help whoever needed an extra hand. He was the kind of nurse patients remembered, colleagues said, and he was a beloved mentor to nurses stepping into the intimidating environment of the intensive care unit.
As an ICU nurse, he was accustomed to people in crisis, said Elissa Todd, a colleague and friend. He was also trained in de-escalation, she noted. Ms. Todd said it was painful to see his last moments knowing personally how calmly Mr. Pretti was able to manage the chaos and stress that came with his job.
“Whatever conversation was being had, I cannot imagine he’s someone who would have made it worse,” she said, referring to his interaction with immigration agents in the minutes before he died. “He would have been someone who was being reasonable and thinking clearly.”
She paused, before saying “I can’t imagine what their last dialogue was, but I will say that he’s uniquely qualified to handle it with integrity and grace.”
Gov. Tim Walz of Minnesota said on Sunday that he had spoken with Mr. Pretti’s parents, who live in Colorado. Mr. Walz said he was trying to channel their desire to tell the world who Mr. Pretti really was, a person who lived “a life of generosity” according to his family.
“Someone who went to work to care for veterans, someone who was a valued co-worker, someone who relished and lived in this state in a big way, whether it was outdoor activities or being down there on the street as a First Amendment witness to what ICE is doing to this state,” Mr. Walz said.
“If we cannot all agree that the smearing of an American citizen and besmirching everything they stood for and asking us not to believe what we saw,” he added, “I don’t know what else to tell you.”
Mr. Pretti’s family said in a statement on Saturday that they were heartbroken, but also “very angry.”
Mr. Pretti’s parents, Susan and Michael Pretti, in a statement reported by The Associated Press and CNN. called their son “a kindhearted soul who cared deeply for his family and friends and also the American veterans whom he cared for as an ICU nurse at the Minneapolis VA hospital.”
“Alex wanted to make a difference in this world,” the statement said. “Unfortunately he will not be with us to see his impact.”
The family denounced the Trump administration’s response to the shooting, which included the accusation that Mr. Pretti had confronted immigration agents with the intent “to perpetuate violence.”
Federal officials have noted that Mr. Pretti had a gun with him during the confrontation, though he was licensed to carry the firearm and had not drawn the weapon. Videos show that Mr. Pretti was holding a phone, rather than his gun. An agent had disarmed Mr. Pretti just before he was shot.
Colleagues knew he was a gun owner, although he didn’t speak of it often, except in occasional conversations about gun reform.
“The sickening lies told about our son by the administration are reprehensible and disgusting,” the Pretti family statement said. “Please get the truth out about our son. He was a good man.”
At Mr. Pretti’s apartment building on Saturday evening, neighbors on his block came together for a small gathering, lighting candles in the brutally cold Minnesota air.
As word of Mr. Pretti’s death spread among friends in Wisconsin, where he grew up, they swapped memories from decades ago — of Mr. Pretti dancing in the show choir in a tuxedo and performing in a production of “Guys and Dolls.”
JD Atkins, 36, remembers when he got his first big role in a play and Mr. Pretti calmed his nerves and offered to run lines together. It was not uncommon for younger students to see Mr. Pretti as a role model, he said, and Mr. Atkins credited him for influencing his career as a high school theater director and playwright near Milwaukee.
“We just really wanted to be like him, because he was cool without trying,” Mr. Atkins said. “And as an adult I realize, it’s because he was kind to everybody.”
Another classmate, Kevin McGillivray, recalled that Mr. Pretti seemed to exude a sense of justice even when it came to petty school interactions. Upperclassmen tended to pick on younger students, but Mr. Pretti never joined his peers. Mr. McGillivray said he and others looked up to Mr. Pretti as an older brother figure.
“He would step up and say something to them and encourage them to reconsider what they’re doing,” Mr. McGillivray, 35, said. “The feeling that I have when I remember him is just a deep sense of safety and confidence.”
When Heather Zielinski saw the video of a federal agent shooting a man on Saturday, she knew she recognized the person. It took her a minute to realize it was her friend of more than 10 years, Mr. Pretti.
“I saw him get wrestled down to the ground, and I saw his feet just go limp, and my heart sank into my stomach,” she said
Ms. Zielinski doesn’t think he would want to be known as a martyr. She thinks he would like to be remembered as a guy who enjoyed riding his bike, as someone who loved his family and as a person who cared about health care, science and research.
She described him as strait-laced, someone who got good grades in school and cared deeply about his job. He loved being outdoors, she said, and took a mountain biking trip to Utah and Colorado over the summer before competing in a cycling relay race in Milwaukee.
“He was a really good friend, and a really good man,” she said.
Jack Healy contributed reporting.
Talya Minsberg is a Times reporter covering breaking and developing news.
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