I’m a huge fan of the Kitchen Confidential subreddit and have been since I first read Anthony Bourdain’s book of the same name back in 2013. The community is full of snarky line cooks, stressed-out front-of-house staff, and dishwashers quietly holding the whole operation together (much like they do in real life).
If you scroll Reddit often, you might be familiar with this subreddit because of its surge in popularity when a user called F1exican started posting a pile of cut chives every day until the subreddit deemed them perfect. (It finally happened a few weeks ago, technically after 69 days, because of course it did.) There were cats. There were brand controversies. There were endless hand-drawn planes and hearts. It was maybe my favorite internet phenomenon since Vine was still a thing.
Left bereft of its Chivelord and his daily posting, the subreddit quickly moved on to a new meme: Paris Hilton cookware. While scrolling, it dawned on me that I happened to have a few pieces of this very cookware in my never-ending “to test” pile of gear. There are sharpeners, Dutch ovens, knife sets, thermometers, and more, but I had a knife block and some nonstick pots and pans. So here I am to share my thoughts, from one humble home-chef-Reddit-scroller to the internet at large. (I come in peace!)
Paris Hilton Knife Block: the Good, the Bad, and the Wobbly
It feels important here to note that I generally love Paris Hilton. I love her bimbo-fied accent, I love her hit single “Stars Are Blind,” and I love her perfume. I also think it’s important to point out that I am the resident WIRED Reviews team “color pink” enthusiast. But I am sorry to say that her knife block is not it.
The Paris Hilton cleaver has been out of stock since I started looking for it, but this knife block is still available, as are several other iterations with slightly fancier bases or different inclusions. My set came with an 8-inch chef’s knife, a 5-inch utility knife, a 5-inch Santoku knife, a 3.5-inch paring knife, and six serrated steak knives, as well as a pair of shears with a built-in bottle opener. The blades are “high-carbon stainless steel.”
Fitting the steak knives into their dedicated slots in the rubberwood knife block was a master class in overcoming my sensory difficulties. As the serrated teeth of each blade bit into the soft, pliable wood of the block, I wondered out loud to myself whether I was placing them correctly. They wiggled around with abandon, barely seated unless I babied each one home. We were off to an excellent start.
The steak and paring knives were perfectly plasticized, with a slippery grip and short, lightweight handles that made me fear I would stab myself at any given moment. I’m not a professional line cook, but I am an adept home chef, and these knives made me nervous. When it was time to hand-wash and “dry immediately” per the manufacturer’s instructions, I could look forward to finagling them with utmost care to their dedicated slots along the bottom of the knife block, where at least one serrated tooth would inevitably catch and be just inconvenient enough to elicit a sigh.
The paring and utility knives were not much better, with their powdery, soft-touch handles and awkward finger guards. If I were slicing the daintiest and firmest of fruits, perhaps they’d do. Perhaps. They were cute—and that is about it.
I was really looking forward to testing the chef’s and Santoku knives, and of course, I used them to cut chives in my best impression of my favorite chef on Reddit.
On the Santoku knife, the bolster (where the blade meets the handle) seemed barely seated, and the handle was too short for even my small hands to feel comfortable. I’m used to the Kiwi cleaver, which feels like an extension of myself. Nevertheless, I persisted, having bought my local rural grocery store out of chives (meaning three tiny, slightly sad packages).
In use, the Santoku knife is fine. I guess. Nothing to write home about, but not the worst knife I’ve ever used. The short blade would make quick work of things like fingerling potatoes or carrots, though it lost its edge quickly, particularly near the bolster. The small design makes it hard to scoop up your prepped ingredients, furthering the impression that these are children’s toys. (Legal disclaimer: These are not children’s toys.)
The chef’s knife is better, which admittedly is not saying much. It’s very rocky and lightweight. I prefer a heavier knife, especially considering how slippery the handle feels. But I was able to slice through my pile of chives, plus garlic and onions. That’s the best assessment I can give: I was able to use this knife to cut things. Did I mention that my beloved Kiwi cleaver costs $15?
One Reddit user mentioned that the knives leach color, which I’m not surprised about, given my aforementioned “these are basically children’s toys” note. (Chefs on the subreddit have echoed my sentiments.)
Paris Hilton Nonstick Cookware Set: That’s Hot
This Paris Hilton cookware set would’ve been the perfect gift for me when I got my first apartment. Unfortunately, that was 10 years ago. (Stay tuned for our buying guide for nonstick pans, which will be published soon!)
The exact set that I tested is no longer available online, but a very similar version exists that includes the same main pots and pans. (Which is probably a good thing, because my set came with nylon tools that were not as heat-safe as they should be, and the new set includes silicone versions.)
The pots and pans are very, very cute, with a glittery ceramic nonstick coating, a pink body, and gold, heart-shaped handles on the lids. The nonstick performed well. (The manufacturer recommends using low or medium heat, but I tested on high, too.) Eggs released without a trace, and melted American cheese was easy to scrape away.
I did notice some scuffing on the bottom of the pan after shuffling it around my gas stove burner, but the finish stayed intact.
The handles stayed cool to the touch, but they’re a little hard to grip. Every pan is on the lightweight side, and they aren’t oven-safe. The product page advertises that they’re easy to clean in the dishwasher, but you shouldn’t put nonstick pans through the dishwasher! Hand-clean and dry them to preserve the coating for as long as possible. According to the manufacturer, the pans are made “without PFAS, PFOA, PFOS & PTFE.”
Overall, I think they’re fine? They’re fine. But it’s not my favorite nonstick Our Place Always Pan, and I think it’s better to invest in one or two really good pans than an entire set of just OK options. If this is your very first cookware set, and you really want something pink and girly, go for it. Just be aware that you’ll likely be investing in another set within a couple of years—I don’t have faith that these would hold up well over time, especially with daily use.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a Dutch oven to order. (And some chive chopping skills to finesse.)
The post Reddit Has Thoughts on Paris Hilton Cookware. So Do We appeared first on Wired.
