Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Really Milking It
President Trump signed the Whole Milk for Healthy Kids Act into law on Wednesday, taking the opportunity to suggest a link between his cognitive tests and drinking milk.
“All right, first of all, there’s no way you drink milk, unless someone tricked you into thinking your Diet Coke came from a cow,” Seth Meyers said on Thursday.
“But you heard Trump: His brain is the way it is because he drinks milk.” — SETH MEYERS
“That’s right, President Trump signed the Whole Milk for Healthy Kids Act into law, which allows schools and their cafeterias to receive federal funding to serve 2 percent milk to help wash down the 5 percent chicken.” — SETH MEYERS
“During the signing ceremony, President Trump offered reporters the chance to take a swig from a jug of milk sitting on the Resolute Desk and said, ‘Remember the old days when we were kids? Everybody shared a bottle?’ Never thought I’d say this, but you’re starting to sound a lot like Joe Biden.” — SETH MEYERS
“Yes, milk. Mr. President, thank you for shining a light on this important issue, and also for having a big jug of milk on your desk as a visual aid, in case people forget what milk is. I mean, how are these people intolerant of everything except lactose?” — JORDAN KLEPPER
The Punchiest Punchlines (‘Finish Your Venezuela First’ Edition)
“In international news: No one likes us. ’Cause Trump continues to insist he’s going to take over Greenland. And the reason is — he’s got a reason — it’s, ‘Something, something, national security, my daddy never went to my Little League games.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Yeah, Trump is still talking about how he wants to take over Greenland. But according to a new poll, 86 percent of Americans are against the U.S. taking Greenland by force. Everyone was, like, ‘Now, Donald, if you want Greenland, you have to finish your Venezuela first.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Not surprisingly, 100 percent of Greenlanders are against it. That’s right, both of them.” — JIMMY FALLON
“But the White House is still negotiating with the leader of Greenland, who Trump thinks is Shrek.” — JIMMY FALLON
“You know who’s pretty sure the U.S. is going to invade a NATO country? NATO. ’Cause yesterday, Germany announced they are sending troops to Greenland, making it the first time in human history anyone ever said, ‘Good news — the German troops are on the way.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
On Thursday’s show, Jimmy Kimmel offered to give Mr. Trump some of his trophies as long as he pulled ICE agents out of Minneapolis.
Also, Check This Out
TV showrunner Sally Wainwright’s new BritBox series “Riot Women” has the grimness of “Happy Valley” and the sentimental late-life romance of “Last Tango in Halifax.”
The post Seth Meyers Never Guessed Trump Was Such a Milk Fan appeared first on New York Times.
