This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Paige Chenault Lohoefer, the founder of The Birthday Party Project. It has been edited for length and clarity.
I started my career as an event planner. In 2008, I was pregnant with my first and only child, and I was on an airplane while reading an article about kids’ birthday parties and dreaming about all the ways I could celebrate my daughter. The next magazine had an image of a child in Haiti, with sunken eyes and a bloated belly, with chaos and destruction behind him. All I could think about was, “What about him? He might never feel celebrated.”
At that moment, I decided that all kids should be celebrated, but I knew I didn’t have to go far to make it happen — there were kids in our backyard in Dallas who needed it.
Commitment is important to us
We launched The Birthday Party Project in Dallas in 2012, and we now operate in 21 cities with 80 agency partners.
I first had to understand what homelessness is and isn’t. It can be families who are fleeing domestic violence situations, or families where two parents have jobs, but they can’t make ends meet. There are teens who the foster system has failed, and they need to live independently, and there are families who find themselves in transition for one reason or another.
Our first agency, Family Gateway, said that people come in all the time and show up a few times, and then stop coming back. Kids crave consistency, so they asked us to commit to showing up every month.
We structured it so that once a month, we go and bring our Birthday Enthusiasts, our volunteers, and host hour-long birthday celebrations. We have one partner we’ve been partying with every month for 13 years.
The holidays are tough on families
We see more birthdays around the first months of the year, because more kids enter shelters then. Domestic violence has peak seasons. Parents and kids will go home and try to be a family during the holidays because they want to create a sense of togetherness and make memories, but it can become stressful. Kids are out of school, they have to feed them differently, work changes, money has been spent — it’s a more chaotic environment, and domestic violence rises.
But joy is possible
We treat the agency like a home, because it is, and we decorate for a themed birthday bash. We get a list in advance with birthday kids’ wishes, and we’re always prepared with extra gifts.
Every celebrated kid gets an individual cake or cupcake and candle, and every person staying there is invited, whether you’re a kid or a kid at heart. The kids are so excited to be kids, running and playing. The parents are there, of course, and they can give the gift to their kid. In domestic violence shelters, we love for the mom to be the hero for a change.
I believe joy can build community
I didn’t expect this when I began the organization, but our parties give kids a sense of relief. They all might enter with different energy, some are shy, and some come barreling through, but they seem to leave the same, with a bit more confidence and sense of purpose.
I think when people feel seen, it changes everything for them. They get that responsibility taken off their shoulders. They leave the party with their shoulders back, eyes wide, and smiles on their faces.
I never grow tired of it.
Joy changes lives, a joyful community can change the world, and celebrations build connections. It’s powerful to see what can happen in one hour with the right people in the room.
Read the original article on Business Insider
The post My nonprofit celebrates birthdays for families who can’t afford them. In 14 years, I’ve never grown tired of seeing their joy. appeared first on Business Insider.
