Donkey’s Place is a famous cheesesteak spot in New Jersey that once got the Anthony Bourdain seal of approval. Despite that prestigious accolade, it’s probably best known, locally at least, for the antique walrus penis bone it had proudly displayed behind its bar.
That proudly displaying antique walrus penis bone is gone now, as NJ.com reports that it’s been stolen by someone who really, really needed an antique walrus penis bone.
There are over 900 mammal species with a baculum, a.k.a. a penis bone. Bats, rodents of all kinds, and even some primates have them. Gorillas, for instance. Luckily, we humans do not, or the time-honored tradition of dudes whacking each other in the junk for a laugh would be a much more tragic exercise.
We want our “bone” back! Please help!
Please Return This New Jersey Cheesesteak Joint’s Stolen Walrus Penis, If You Have It
The walrus baculum had been a part of Donkey Place’s odd mishmash of décor for years, sharing space with a megalodon tooth and a series of other strange knick-knacks. Good conversation starters for anyone curious as to what the weird thing behind the bar was, presumably leading to the bartenders having to pretend they hadn’t heard the same five jokes over and over again.
That’s all over, for now at least, as a customer has allegedly stolen the walrus penis bone. According to owner Rob Lucas Junior, a bartender handed over to a customer for inspection, stepped away for a second, and one of the men at the bar made off with it. Security cameras caught a glimpse of the suspected thief, and the bar later posted a TikTok on New Year’s Eve asking for its return
They have the customer’s credit card information and even have a clear shot of his face, but Donkey’s Place has not chosen to contact him directly or file a police report, instead hoping a good old-fashioned public shaming will be enough to get him to return the antique walrus penis bone.
They just want their antique walrus penis bone back, and they want it back in its natural resting place: behind the bar of a cheesesteak restaurant that Anthony Bourdain once said he liked.
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