Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Oil Slick
The Trump administration announced on Wednesday that the United States would sell up to 50 million barrels of Venezuean oil and that Trump, personally, would be in control of the proceeds.
Jimmy Kimmel said it was good that “Diddy J. Trump” was in charge: “That way we know it will be spent honestly.”
“And I’m sure this has nothing to do with the fact that oil companies spent almost half a billion dollars to get him elected. I’m sure if the windmill people had just asked, he would have invaded Holland instead.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“OK, look, say what you want about his corruption, at least Trump is hands on with it, OK? Dick Cheney had to funnel it through Halliburton or whatever, but Donald Trump is like, ‘Yo, just give me the oil, I’ll open a gas pump outside the Oval Office, OK? Just drive right up.” — RONNY CHIENG
“So yes, Venezuela has agreed to hand over approximately $2 billion worth of oil to the United States, out of the goodness of their hearts, and because we are mugging them — which seems harsh. But you know what? A little bit of oil money for President Trump is a small price to pay for illegally kidnapping their president.” — RONNY CHIENG
“Trump promises that the petro dollars will be ‘used to benefit the people of Venezuela and the United States!’ So good news, people of Venezuela: Caracas is gettin’ a ballroom!” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but presidents can’t just steal and sell stuff that belongs to another country. That’s what pirates do.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Next Up, Greenland Edition)
“That’s right, Greenland — because the only thing we hate more than a brutal authoritarian regime is whatever the complete opposite of that is.” — RONNY CHIENG, on Trump wanting to take Greenland
“The point is, we need Greenland. Why? For their freedom. Or their oil. Or for national defense — look I don’t remember what excuse we’re using.” — RONNY CHIENG
“Yep, Trump’s buying properties and seizing boats. He’s pretty much playing ‘Monopoly’ and ‘Battleship.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“At this point, the only way to get Trump away from Greenland is convincing him that’s where vegetables come from.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
The “Heated Rivalry” star Hudson Williams taught Jimmy Fallon how to stretch for hockey on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
The “Fresh Air” host Terry Gross will return to “The Late Show” on Thursday.
Also, Check This Out
The filmmakers, songwriters and actors behind “KPop Demon Hunters” discussed the nine-year process of creating their global phenomenon.
The post Late Night Responds to Trump’s Bid to Be an Oil Baron appeared first on New York Times.
