The holidays turn otherwise manageable relationship problems into a full-scale production. You wear the matching sweater, pose for the photo, and laugh at the same family story you’ve heard since the Obama era. Meanwhile, you’re actually streaming internally about every annoying or frustrating thing your partner did the entire time.
A survey from matchmaking service Tawkify suggests plenty of couples play along anyway. Nearly 40 percent of people in relationships said they have faked happiness with their partner during the holidays.
About 79 percent said couples get more “performative” online this time of year, and nearly 1 in 4 admitted they shared holiday posts that didn’t actually reflect what was happening off camera. We all know it. #blessed
Tawkify calls this season a time of “holding on,” even when “the heart is already halfway out the door.” That line explains why December can keep people stuck. Nobody wants to be the villain at the office party. Nobody wants to blow up a family dinner. Nobody wants the pity invite on New Year’s Eve.
The survey’s numbers match that emotional math. More than 1 in 4 respondents said they stayed in an unhappy relationship just to get through the season. Twenty-seven percent said they remained past the relationship’s “emotional expiration date.”
Forty percent postponed the breakup for one to two months, and 20 percent stretched it to three months or longer. Fourteen percent even set a breakup deadline for after the holidays. Fifteen percent said they kept it going to avoid being single on New Year’s Eve. Yeesh.
December also comes with built-in relationship exams. The survey found 48 percent of people see Christmas as a bigger test than Valentine’s Day, and 45 percent felt pressure to hit milestones like meeting parents or making the relationship official. Then the outside stress piles on.
The American Psychiatric Association’s Healthy Minds Poll warned that the season “can be fraught with stress” for some people, driven by finances, family relations, and grief. Add that to a shaky relationship, and the easiest choice can look like smiling through dinner and promising yourself you will deal with it in January.
That choice buys time. It also costs honesty. The best gift you can give yourself might be listening to your gut.
The post More Couples Than You Think Are Faking Happiness at the Holidays appeared first on VICE.
