Liz Phair is a 90s alt-rock legend, but even legends have off days. For Phair, one such disastrous holiday performance from the early 2000s had her feeling like she “didn’t belong here.”
In a resurfaced video from 2021, Phair opened up about performing at the Rockefeller Center tree lighting in New York City. Unfortunately, it turned out to be one of the most embarrassing performances of her entire career.
“I had a top ten radio hit, a song called ‘Why Can’t I?’ and the indie press was coming after me, accusing me of selling out,” the singer recalled. “Up until then, I’d been known for my raw and gritty sound, my confrontational lyrics. But that was the 1990s. Now it was the 2000s, and the music business had completely changed.”
Phair explained that she’d begun working more with “pop producers.” By doing so, she hoped to crank out some “commercially viable” songs. The singer also began taking on “back-to-back events,” like singing the National Anthem at the opening game of the World Series, saying “all of them” were “scary.”
“When I got an offer to sing ‘Winter Wonderland’ at the Rockefeller Center tree lighting in New York City, I was so excited,” she continued. But the excitement would be short-lived. On the day of the event, Phair fell “deathly ill” with the flu, including a very high fever. “I couldn’t call in sick. I’d been announced,” she explained. “This was a live broadcast. I had to show up for work.”
Phair noted that her illness was very distracting, as was the “karaoke” backing track she was expected to sing to. This led her to not even notice what the hair and makeup artists were doing to her as she sat in their chair.
Liz Phair was “horrified” to discover the makeup look she was given
“I didn’t notice until I looked up into the mirror and saw my reflection, and saw that the hair and makeup team had given me, like, a news anchor face and Shirley Temple ringlets. And I was horrified,” she recalled. “I didn’t even recognize myself.”
“I turned to my tour manager,” she continued, “and I whispered, ‘How bad is it? Do you think anyone’s going to notice?’ And he laughed and was like, ‘Truthfully, it’s not great. I mean, it’s a look.’ But we didn’t have time to fix it.”
You’d think it couldn’t get worse. But wait! There’s more. Phair was suffering from chills as she waited for her cue. It was so bad, she worried that her mic would pick up her chattering teeth.
Thankfully for Phair, the performance seems to have mostly been kept off the internet
“I knew I had to wait two bars before I started singing. That was my cue,” she said. “And as I listened in my earpiece to the anchors introduce me, I waited for the music to start playing, but I didn’t hear anything.” The track eventually started, but it was too late. Phair was already thrown off.
“The melody I’m singing is completely clashing with the chords. It sounds awful,” she said. “It doesn’t even sound recognizable. And so I freeze, and I stare straight ahead, listening intently as I try to find my way back into this song, listening for any clue as to what section I’m in.”
“But what the audience sees is a stupefied woman, slack-jawed, wide-eyed, with ten seconds of dead air, seconds of dead air, seconds of dead air. And I can see my reflection in the camera lens. And it’s those damn poodle curls again.”
While the performance was bad, the aftermath was almost worse for Phair
Once it was over, the worst was not yet behind here. The televised performance sparked criticism and unkind words from viewers and the media. Ultimately, Phair allowed herself to grow from the experience and move forward, knowing she would remain true only to herself and her art from that point on.
“If I’m not connected to my instrument or to my band, if I don’t feel passionately about the song that I’m singing, if I’m not coming from a place of true authenticity, it’s going to be a disaster,” she asserted. “So I fulfilled my obligations. And the season wound down. But that was the point at which I truly let go.”
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