If you struggle with body image to any degree, you’re likely all too familiar with the feeling of heightened insecurities during the holidays. From changing your routine to make room for celebrations to spending time with judgmental family members to being around more food than you could imagine, the season can feel like one massive exposure therapy session.
Just last night, after spending all day baking various types of Christmas cookies for my loved ones, I began to spiral about missing my usual gym session. God forbid I have a busy afternoon!
And as I tasted one (or five) of my masterpieces, I felt that all-too-familiar shame overcoming me. What should have been a festive, warm Sunday evening, with my balsam and cedar candles burning and a fireplace ambiance on my TV, turned into an episode of self-loathing. Instead of gazing lovingly at my gorgeous Christmas tree, I found myself standing in front of my mirror in the worst possible lighting, noting every crease and internally screaming at myself for not finding the time to hit the treadmill.
Body image issues have a way of creeping in during the worst possible times. They thrive off your vulnerabilities—your lack of control or even your precious freedom to slow down—seeking ways to guilt and bully you. They often don’t make any real sense, especially to those around you.
The holidays are a prime time for flare-ups, and navigating your body image can feel overwhelming this time of the year. But you’re not alone in this struggle.
Don’t Shame Yourself—But Do Check Yourself
Unfortunately, you can’t always rationalize your way out of mental health struggles. If you could, I’m convinced none of us would suffer. Mental health conditions don’t care about logic. They don’t care how “superficial” or “petty” an issue might seem from the outside.
Just like you wouldn’t tell someone with a physical illness to “suck it up” or that “people have it worse,” you shouldn’t tell someone with a mental illness to “stop being so self-centered” and to “get over yourself.”
Just as importantly, you shouldn’t tell yourself these things. Trust me, it will only perpetuate shame, which is often what’s at the core of most body image issues to begin with.
It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that our value comes from our appearance, especially today. Social media has exposed new insecurities I’d never thought twice about, pushing ways to “fix” normal human features or even bullying individuals for the way they look.
But it’s important to catch yourself when you feel this internal shift occur. Unfollow people who set you off, and remember it isn’t their responsibility to deliver a certain type of content. It’s on you to decide what makes you feel most grounded and confident. It’s not personal.
Recognize Your Blessings
With the holidays come plenty of triggers, yes—but they also bring deep reflection and presence. Sure, the dessert table might stir up equal parts desire and shame. Sure, you might spend more time on the couch with a full belly and loved ones around you than at the gym lifting weights or getting your steps in.
We tend to view exercise as punishment and appearance as value. We do something similar with the holidays: we view them as this stressful, overwhelming time, when really it’s a blessing to celebrate another year with the people we love. To have food on the table and space to rest.
Can you allow yourself to recognize the privilege in that—without shaming the part of you that feels unworthy of it?
The post An Open Letter to Anyone Struggling With Body Image This Holiday Season appeared first on VICE.
