To the Editor:
Re “To Love the Holidays, Give Up Hosting,” by Elizabeth Austin (Opinion guest essay, Dec. 21):
Ms. Austin portrays hosting a family holiday meal as an exhausting obligation borne by the eldest daughter — chaotic, thankless, and ultimately not worth the effort. That perspective misses something important.
Hosting a holiday meal is not an improvisation; it is a performance. Like a symphony or a ballet, holiday meals succeed through planning and preparation well in advance of the day itself. A table does not need to be set the morning of the meal; it can be set days — even a week — ahead. Soups and other dishes can be prepared early and frozen. Planning turns a hectic day into a manageable one.
Ms. Austin overlooks the quiet pleasure of the prior generation watching their adult children assume the role of host, set the table, and use the family’s heirloom china. These moments are not burdens; they are bridges between generations.
Hosting a holiday meal need not feel like martyrdom. Done thoughtfully, it is a way to pass the torch, honor those who came before us, and set an example for our children and others who will one day take their turn.
Irene Goldsmith Croton-on-Hudson, N.Y.
To the Editor:
Oh, how I could identify with Elizabeth Austin’s relief in not hosting the family gathering. This year was the first time in 25 years that I didn’t host our Giant Family Gathering (in between Thanksgiving and Christmas). Last year we told our eldest son and his wife that we were passing the torch. We showed up with a couple of Costco pies, a broccoli salad, and “beverages of choice.”
Their place is bigger than ours, with a pool table and shuffleboard and comfy chairs. And we went home with leftover turkey and ham to make easy dinners for days — best holiday gathering ever. My husband and I will enjoy a quiet Christmas dinner of takeout, watching a sappy Christmas movie on TV, with champagne for a festive touch.
Kristina Lengvenis Vancouver, Wash.
To the Editor:
To host Christmas dinner is to give the gift of care to family, friends and sometimes strangers. When I put on the apron at 5 a.m. on Christmas morning and take a sip of coffee, I ask myself, How is everyone doing?
Outside my door, the next day waits — good and bad for all of us. Who has a new baby? Who lost their job? Who is newly married or newly single? Who might not even be with us next year? So, yes, making Christmas dinner is my gift and my hope for them, and their enjoyment of the day is their gift to me.
Earlene Williams New York
To the Editor:
At 79, and as the hostess for many years of our family and friends Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, I am thrilled that this year that I did not even put a Christmas wreath on my door. I am also glad to announce that I barely manage to cook three dinners a week for my noncooking husband of over 55 years.
Life is good and relaxing now. All I need to do is relinquish grocery shopping, making sure there is toilet paper and that the garbage gets out every Monday morning by 9.
Carol Abbe Smith Easthampton, Mass.
To the Editor:
Those of us who have lost all our family and are spending holidays alone now see things differently. I would give anything for the chaos the writer described. Too bad she had to feel it was all or nothing. I miss those crazy times.
Lori Rios Scottsville, Va.
This Busy Judge Welcomes Introductions
To the Editor:
Re “Elite Unit of Justice Dept. Sees Exodus Despite Wins (front page, Dec. 1):
I was puzzled by the suggestion in this article that there is something controversial about the new solicitor general’s including an “introduction” in written briefs for the Supreme Court. This practice became standard in the profession years ago, even if the solicitor general’s office was previously too hidebound to adopt it.
The reason is simple: Busy judges who read hundreds of briefs appreciate an advocate’s overview of the controversy the court must decide. An introduction tells the advocate’s story about the case. It grabs the reader’s attention to provide helpful context before delving into the technical arguments and citations of authorities.
In an interview with the lexicographer Bryan Garner, Chief Justice John Roberts said that, as a practitioner, he “almost always” included an introduction in his briefs. Chief Justice Roberts is widely regarded as one of the greatest advocates of his generation.
As an appellate judge who reads lots of briefs every week, I hope that lawyers won’t get the idea from your article that judges don’t like introductions in briefs. We welcome them.
William H. Pryor Jr. Birmingham, Ala. The writer is the chief judge of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 11th Circuit.
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