“It’s not me — it’s 100% about you. Unless you turn into a different person, this will never work.”
Tricia Cramblet, Seattle
“I know it sounds selfish,” he said, “but your family just doesn’t have enough money.”
Lucile Jackson, Charlotte, N.C.
“It wasn’t anything you did,” my first real girlfriend said. “You were a great boyfriend. I mean, I’d even write you a letter of recommendation.”
Jaron Robinson, Spokane, Wash.
“So you’re just going to dump me and send me out into the storm?” he said. “No,” I replied. “I’m giving you an umbrella.”
We had been together on and off for two years.
Kristin Louise Duncombe, Paris
“Ray don’t want to be with you no more,” Louie said to me in eighth grade on behalf of Ray.
Vikki Cruz, Bakersfield, Calif.
“I’m pathetic now,” I said, my face smeared with mascara, “but check back in five years, because I’ll be fine, and you’ll still be you.”
Kristine Tobin Balasz, Charlevoix, Mich.
“I can’t quit and have a little bit,” he said after I suggested we could still be friends.
India Watkins, Dublin, Va.
“You’re dating me because I’m cute and I’m dating you because you’re rich,” I said. “Well, I’m not that cute and you’re not that rich!”
He agreed.
Mary Hedahl, New York, N.Y.
“You just used me for sex,” he said when I told him I needed to be with someone closer to my age.
He was 27, and I was 45.
Michelle Langmead, San Diego
“Why aren’t you crying?” my soon-to-be ex said after breaking up with me.
Hannah Daneshvar, Hadley, Mass.
“I thought you loved me,” I said. “I really tried to,” he replied, gutting me — a failed yearlong audition for love.
Jillian Sanders, Denver
“Those robots are in love — we’re not,” I said to my boyfriend of five years as the credits rolled for the movie “Wall-E.”
Lu Valena, Boston
“I think we’re coming to an end,” I said as we were about to attend different colleges. “Agreed,” he replied.
(Exchanged high-fives.) Best. Breakup. Ever.
Maria Agnello, Waukesha, Wis.
“I want to move out,” he said. “Oh, where do you want us to move to?” I said, not getting it.
Michelle Brooks, Philadelphia
“Your success is humiliating to me,” my live-in boyfriend said to me three days after admitting to cheating.
Leslie Eaton, Denver
“Only the shell of me is left,” I said, “and I need to walk away before that’s gone, too.”
I was in a relationship with an angry young man for two years before summoning the courage to leave.
Megan DeRosa, Boulder, Colo.
“OK, Bill Clinton. What do I care?” I said after my then-fiancée tried to lessen the blow of her cheating by saying “We didn’t have sex,” meaning penetrative sex.
A little ridiculous considering we were two gay women in 2025.
Macy Jane Anderson, Chicago
“If I stay with someone who feels mediocre about me, I’m going to start feeling mediocre about myself.”
Alison Davis, Lafayette, Colo.
“We would have made beautiful babies,” he said, even though he had always dismissed my desire to have children, one of our main incompatibilities.
Caroline Paleckova, Prague
“Breaking up isn’t like going to the bathroom,” he said. “Just because all your girlfriends are doing it doesn’t mean you do, too.”
Madeleine Burns, Hanover, N.H.
“I think she’s going to be OK,” my boyfriend messaged after breaking up with me by text. “I let her down easy.” “I think you meant to send this to someone else,” I replied.
Michelle Weathers, Laurel, Md.
“Mispronounce Eyjafjallajökull once more and we’re done,” my Icelandic boyfriend said.
That volcano had recently erupted.
Barbora Bukovska, London
“I couldn’t leave you,” he said, “so I did something awful so you would leave me.”
After my partner of two years made sure I saw him in bed with another woman, I’d begged him to tell me why he had been so cruel.
Julie Melrose, Northampton, Mass.
“I don’t think this is going to work out,” he said. “I don’t understand how you can support the beef industry and believe in God at the same time.”
Emily Maher, Reno, Nev.
“I am afraid of your trauma,” he said while breaking up with me.
I am a sexual assault survivor and have worked hard to heal.
Gwyneth Manley, Portland, Ore.
“You obviously want to be sad and I want to be happy,” he said. “And Leonard Cohen does not make me happy.”
Deborah Stoll, New York, N.Y.
“You’re not Asian,” said my white boyfriend.
I’m not Asian; I’m mixed race (European and African descent), but apparently the wrong mix for him.
Tracey Huenemann, Vallejo, Calif.
“Break up with Lynn” is what my boyfriend of several months had written as his Friday evening calendar entry that week, which I happened to see.
Lynn Gieger, Atlanta
“You deserve to find someone who likes Taylor Swift as much as you do,” she said.
Claire Hsu, New York, N.Y.
“You can’t stay here because of me,” said my 32-year-old boyfriend when I got a job offer out of state. I was 23. “My life is established and yours is just beginning. Go and live.”
Elizabeth Kennedy, Chicago
“I am not the right girl for you,” I said. “I will make you very unhappy. Someday you will thank me for this.”
Jane Ernest, Turin, Italy
“I need to go sow my wild wheat,” he said, forgetting all about oats.
Alicia Davenport, Atlanta
“I think you probably have damaged eggs,” he, a younger man, said to me.
Carrie Hoffman, East Brunswick, N.J.
“You should know the next girl you’re going to date will be the one you marry,” I said. “It happened to my last three boyfriends. So, I’m really doing you a favor.”
Mary M. Conn-Fitch, Ashland, Ore.
“Stay in touch,” he said. “I stay in touch with a lot of the women I’ve dated.” “Great,” I said. “Send me the newsletter.”
Belinda Whitmore, Sunapee, N.H.
“I feel like dating you would be permanent,” she said.
We were in college and she was not ready for something serious.
Nathaniel Hess, Princeton, N.J.
“It’s not you,” I said. “It’s not me. It’s us.”
Boyd Crow, Morro Bay, Calif.
“We can break up, or you can stop doing this. Either way, my life is going to get better.”
I was fed up with her constant, last-minute cancellations.
Jeremy Lee, Phoenix
“You don’t enjoy the process of thinking and learning as much as I do,” he said. “You don’t think I enjoy learning and thinking?” “Well, now I’m feeling attacked, but yes.”
Valerie Ding, Brooklyn, N.Y.
“I need someone who leads with a firmer hand,” she said.
Eddie Fritts Tomaselli, Queens, N.Y.
“The problem with us,” he said, “is that we both need a wife.”
Donna Herring, Hancock, Maine
“Jason, I think our fling has flung.”
Amina Sarraf, Great Falls, Va.
“We can’t see each other anymore because you don’t have a book in your house.” “But I drive a Porsche,” he said. “I rest my case.”
Amy Shapiro, Weston, Conn.
“I’ve never been afraid of your love because your love changed my life,” I said to him. “For that, you’ll always be my family and have a seat at my table.”
Marcus Porracin, Sydney, Australia
“I never loved you,” he said. “I loved the way you loved me.”
Eleanor Hutchins, New York, N.Y.
“Getting one last look, eh?” I said as we shared a final hug and I caught him looking down my shirt.
Madison Kitch, Reno, Nev.
“I can’t do this,” I said after we matched on Jdate and I drove 10 hours to see her. “You look like my oldest sister.”
Stephen Stern, Baltimore
“You care what people think, you care where you went to school and you like brands,” he said. “I think I need to be with someone who cares more about the world than themselves.”
Abbey Glover, San Francisco
“You’re breaking up with me over the toilet seat?” he said. “It’s always been about more than that,” I said, “but yes.”
Rosemarie Boyd, San Francisco
“I really just want to be with a Marxist supermodel with a Ph.D.,” said my love interest, a local activist with a big ego.
Reena Liebling, Los Angeles
“It’s like when you move toward me,” I said, “I have to move back, like magnets that repel each other.” Through tears, she said, “I repulse you!” All I could say was, “Yes, I guess so, but you know, just scientifically speaking.”
James Geisler, Portland, Ore.
“You had a life before me,” he said, “and you’ll have a life after me.”
Courtney Gu, Seattle
Produced by Antonio de Luca and Michael Beswetherick
Miya Lee is the editor of Modern Love projects.
The post The 52 Best Breakup Lines (Said in Real Life) appeared first on New York Times.
