Millennials have been accused of breaking a lot of things, but the newest claim is almost flattering.
According to a clip that went viral from the Mamamia Out Loud podcast, the generation that survived dial-up, the 2008 crash, and dating apps may be cheating less because they’re simply too exhausted to pull it off. Imagine a moral revolution powered by nothing more than burnout and a shared desire to go to bed on time.
The comment section on Instagram instantly filled with millennial sighs of recognition. “You want me to hang out with another straight man on purpose??? In my free time??” one person wrote. Another pointed out the economic angle: “Men can’t even afford second families anymore.” It was chaos and catharsis in equal measure.
Actual data gives the conversation some teeth. A 2017 analysis by sociologist Nicholas Wolfinger found that Americans over 55 reported the highest rates of extramarital sex. Gen Z is already outpacing millennials in reported infidelity, and they have more disposable income to fund questionable decisions. Even therapists say the millennial affair is losing steam.
“Affairs are emotional side-projects,” relationship expert Lisa Chen told Newsweek. “Millennials already feel stretched with burnout, cost-of-living pressures, career, and political unrest.” In other words, cheating requires energy. Millennials barely have enough left for their primary relationship, let alone a second one with sneaky logistics.
Chen adds that modern relationships demand more emotional labor than in past generations, with higher expectations for presence and intimacy. “Taking on another relationship takes too much bandwidth,” she said. Add location sharing and digital receipts, and the risk of getting caught rises fast.
Burnout backs all of this up. The 2024 Aflac WorkForces Report found that 66 percent of millennials report moderate to high burnout. A study from the Piere personal finance app showed most are delaying life milestones because everything costs more than it did for their parents. Federal Reserve data analyzed by Fortune shows millennials hold about 30 percent less wealth at age 35 than boomers did.
Some experts argue that exhaustion is only part of it. “Millennials have had a front row seat to the fallout of divorce and infidelity,” psychologist Sabrina Romanoff said. Many choose partners with more intention and build relationships that feel like they can hold up.
But the quote that captured the whole mood came from a commenter under the Mamamia clip. “I think we value actually liking our partner,” she wrote.
Sometimes the simplest theories hit the hardest. Also, I need a nap.
The post Millennials Aren’t Cheating on Their Partners—It’s Too Much Work appeared first on VICE.
