Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘The FIFA Appease Prize’
On Friday, President Trump received the inaugural FIFA Peace Prize after what Stephen Colbert referred to on Monday as “years of campaigning unsuccessfully for the Nobel Peace Prize.”
“Might seem like an odd combination, but I think it’s appropriate because when you think peaceful, you think soccer fans.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Call me a boomer, but these participation trophies have gone too far,” Colbert said before presenting himself with the First Annual Stephen Colbert Joke Prize.
“This could have gone to any Stephen Colbert.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“So they did something — you could call it genius and you might be right. They tapped into his disappointment from not winning the Nobel Peace Prize and created their own peace prize, the FIFA Peace Prize, which is like if NASCAR started handing out Peabody awards. It means nothing.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Oh, my god, he won the prize specifically created to appease him — the FIFA Appease Prize.” — JON STEWART
“As president of FIFA, Infantino is the world’s top authority in corruption and he spent the last year sucking up to Trump, so much so that Trump has started recently calling him ‘my boy.’ [imitating Eric Trump] ‘I thought I was your boy, Dad. Dad, I played soccer too, Dad. I’m just, I’m still waiting for you to pick me up.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“I have to say Trump was so pleased. He hasn’t been this happy since the day before Eric was born.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Later that same day, Trump also received the Hooters National Book Award. It was, it was the breast of times, it was the worst of boobs.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Kennedy Center Edition)
“Well, guys, last night, President Trump became the first president to host the Kennedy Center Honors himself. Yeah. It was like the Golden Globes, if the host was also a Golden Globe. Orangish-gold.” — JIMMY FALLON
“He’s been boasting about hosting, saying we’ve never had a president host the Kennedy Center Honors before, which, yeah, why do you think that is? We’ve also never had Neil Patrick Harris order a military strike on a fishing boat before.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“You could tell it was Trump’s award show, because the red carpet was just one of his neckties.” — JIMMY FALLON
“President Trump and first lady Melania Trump walked the red carpet together last night at the 48th Kennedy Center Honors. Which, by the way, is all he ever wanted. He never wanted to be president. He just wants to wear a tux and walk red carpets. If someone would just lay down a circular red carpet somewhere, we would never hear from him again.” — SETH MEYERS
“I love watching the red carpet preshow. The press was like, ‘Mr. President, Mr. President, what compression socks are you wearing?’ [imitating Trump] ‘Copper Fit? I don’t know.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Trump said he rejected honorees who were ‘too woke.’ Then he slept through all the acceptance speeches.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
The pint-size pop star Sabrina Carpenter shared some tidbits from her Short ‘n Sweet tour while on Monday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
David Letterman will promote a new season of his show, “My Next Guest Needs No Introduction,” on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
Also, Check This Out
Award-winning actress Christine Baranski collaborated with the Skylark Vocal Ensemble for live readings and a recording of Charles Dickens’s holiday classic “A Christmas Carol.”
The post Late Night Sees Through Trump’s ‘Appease Prize’ appeared first on New York Times.
