Holiday greeting cards are dashing through the mail system—a festive treat that reminds recipients somebody, somewhere, is thinking of them and wishing them well. They’re a rarity in this age of emails and text messages, experts say, and there’s something special about this expression of goodwill that can strengthen relationships and foster a sense of warmth and appreciation.
“Receiving a card with real handwriting on it is more meaningful than other forms of communication,” says Sarah Tobabin, director of Hallmark’s writing studio and editorial services. “A card is a tangible reminder that can be saved. It can be reread. It can be displayed—we see them on bulletin boards, and people frame them or keep them on their fridge.”
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Tobabin—who, in case you were wondering, says working at Hallmark is like “living in Christmas 12 months of the year”—loved sending holiday cards to friends and family long before she made a career of it. She’s learned that there’s an art to making them both thoughtful and memorable. With that in mind, we asked experts exactly how to craft the perfect holiday card.
Decide what kind of card you want to send
The first step to sending a good card is deciding what you hope it will accomplish: Do you want to deliver general holiday cheer? Express gratitude for the past year? Reconnect with old friends? Fill in extended family on what’s been happening in your life? Check in with someone who’s had a hard year?
Your goal will determine the tone, length, and format you need, says Nick Leighton, who co-hosts the etiquette podcast Were You Raised By Wolves? (He receives thousands of holiday cards each year, many from listeners, and writes back to every single one.) You might opt for photo postcards for more casual cards, he suggests, or a lengthy family newsletter for all the aunts and uncles you didn’t keep up with throughout the year. You could also go with an old-school handwritten card. “There’s no limit to what’s possible,” he says. “I always send a classic folded card with a handwritten note inside—and it’s just my own note; there’s nothing preprinted.” While no one format is necessarily better than another, Leighton stresses that whatever you choose should feel sincere and thoughtful.
Personalize it
Even if you’re sending cards in bulk, you need to personalize each one in some small way. You can keep it brief by dashing off a quick line: “I’m writing this as the snow is dancing in the backyard,” Leighton suggests, or, “I can’t stop thinking about your BBQ last summer!” You could also add a short-and-sweet sentiment that shows you care about what’s going on in their life: “We hope your new job is going well!”
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If the right words are escaping you, draw on what inspired you throughout the year. Gretchen Anthony, who loves holiday cards so much that she wrote the novel Evergreen Tidings from the Baumgartners about an overbearing matriarch’s Christmas letters, recommends getting in the habit of keeping track of favorite quotes, funny things your kids said, and the most moving lyrics you heard all year. Share one or two in the card, and your recipient will smile just as much as you did when you first heard them.
Have some fun
When Ellie Trebino Kelm, a senior product art designer at Mixbook, which sells holiday cards and photo books, recently toured the company’s printer, she got to admire some customer creations. Her favorite: “Someone was sending out a holiday card from their parakeet,” she says.
Others wrote their cards from the perspective of their dog or attached a favorite recipe. New parents opted for photos of their babies with a lighthearted note like: “Silent Night~ish.” “Your holiday cards don’t ever need to be super buttoned-up and polished,” Kelm says. “It’s always fun to add a little personality.”
Leighton agrees: Last year, he sent all his holiday cards from the United Nations, which has its own postal service. He’s also sent a bundle of cards to the North Pole in a large envelope; the postmaster there will forward them on with a North Pole postmark. “Then people get a letter that’s from the North Pole,” he says.
Add a surprise
Consider slipping a small photo, a child’s doodle, or a pressed flower into your card’s envelope. Tobabin often adds brightly colored fall leaves from her home in Kansas City, or a fortune cookie note she saved because it resonated with her. Sometimes she tosses in a couple extra stamps, which is “a nice way to pay forward the idea of staying in touch.”
Adding something to your card is “a special surprise,” she says. “It’s unexpected, and it also just adds to the tangible nature.”
Include the date
Jennifer Yang realized the “timeless magic” of cards in 2021, when she visited her parents’ home and found a box of letters she had saved from childhood. “Holding these letters and seeing the handwriting and the little trinkets inside the envelopes, it was as if the world shifted,” she says. “Time stopped, and I was a kid again.”
That inspired Yang to found Dearist, a program that helps instill a love of letter-writing in young people. One of the essential elements of a good note that she always drives home to kids: You have to include the date, including the year. “I don’t get hung up on the formatting, but I do believe it’s important to include the date,” she says. “If someone does revisit it later in the future, it’s nice to have a reference for when it was sent.”
Decorate (or scent) the envelope
Your work isn’t necessarily done once you’ve finished your card. There’s an envelope to consider, too, though people often overlook the opportunity it presents. Tobabin likes to add decorations like stickers, or a subtle spritz of pine or cinnamon scent. You could even use it as “bonus space” to add an extra sweet little note for the recipient. “It makes your card memorable before it’s even opened,” she says.
Insert it the correct way
Resist the urge to simply shove your card into the envelope without a second thought. There’s a correct way to do it, though Leighton often sees people get it wrong. The fold should always point downwards, he says, and as you look at the back of the envelope, the front of the card should be facing you.
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“If you were holding the envelope in your left hand and you took the card out of the envelope with your right hand, it would be in the correct orientation to read it as soon as you took it out,” he says. That helps ensure checks or other surprises tucked inside the card don’t slip out, and that people who use letter openers (like Leighton) don’t have any trouble doing so. “It’s just the proper way to do it,” he says.
Double-check names
Perhaps the ultimate holiday card faux pas is getting the recipients’ names wrong. That includes assuming a newly married couple is sharing the same last name. If you’re not sure how to address someone, ask, Leighton advises: “People should be addressed in the way they want to be addressed,” he says. “If you don’t know, it’s perfectly fine to reach out and be like, ‘Hi, how do you like to be addressed in correspondence?’”
And he implores you to keep in mind one of his pet-peeves: When you’re writing to families, there’s no need for apostrophes to make names plural. “It’s The Leightons,” he says. “Not The Leighton’s.”
Don’t worry if you don’t get it out on time
Leighton likes to start working on his holiday cards right after Thanksgiving, writing about five at a time and getting them all out the door by the first week of December. If that feels like too much work in an already chaotic season, there’s nothing wrong with sending a New Year’s card (or a Valentine’s Day or St. Patrick’s Day card). “I have a friend that sends Groundhog Day cards, and that’s an annual tradition,” he says. It really is the thought—not the arrival date—that counts.
No matter what, don’t let card-sending stress you out. “This is supposed to be delightful,” Leighton says, “So let’s remember the reason we’re doing it.”
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