The idea of performing the closer of Paramore’s 2009 album Brand New Eyes used to terrify Hayley Williams. For a long time, the band never played it live, and only in the past couple of years has Williams started to integrate it into their setlists. During a livestream in 2013, Williams explained that she held back for fear of messing up the emotionally and vocally demanding track.
“It would be easier to sing ‘All I Wanted’ if it was just at one show,” she said at the time. “Because then I wouldn’t have to worry about doing it every night on stage and being consistent. It can be tiring for my voice. I try to take care of it. And ‘All I Wanted’ is the one that, I can’t mess that up. Like if I mess that up, I’ll never forgive myself.”
Beyond being vocally taxing, “All I Wanted” is emotionally draining as well, for all its ambiguity. As beloved as it is, it’s surprising to learn that it almost didn’t make the album. Initially, Paramore wasn’t sure if it fit with the tone of Brand New Eyes, which was more of a reflection on the sudden success of Riot! and growing up under the public scrutiny that came with it.
According to Williams, “All I Wanted” came from a nebulous “emo” feeling, encapsulating all the emotions she felt about Paramore’s personal conflicts as bandmates and friends at the time. Additionally, her then-boyfriend Chad Gilbert of New Found Glory was going out on tour for the first time in years. Williams was grappling with shifting relationships in her band, her friendships, and her love life, and “All I Wanted” came from a vague combination of all three.
‘All I Wanted’ Gained Increasing Attention, But Wouldn’t Get a Live Debut for 13 Years
Through the years, “All I Wanted” never got its live debut. Despite increasing interest in the non-single album closer, Hayley Williams expressed her apprehension about performing the track live. But Williams also likes giving every song its due. In a recent interview with triple j, she admitted she loves the individual responses her music can elicit from people.
“It blows my mind every single time that Paramore has put out an album or I’ve put out any music, how invested people get and how it brings something out of them too,” she said. “It’s one of my favorite parts of making stuff available and sharing it. Because we create a whole different thing together.”
“All I Wanted” is definitely one of those tracks that resonated for fans in unique ways. While Hayley Williams had personal struggles in mind while writing, it’s just vague enough to fit into whatever the listener has going on at the time. It’s universal in that way, and it deserved a live debut.
The time finally came at the When We Were Young festival in 2022. Paramore appeared in the lineup between Bring Me The Horizon and My Chemical Romance on a separate stage, and Williams launched into “All I Wanted” as their set opener. While they were dealing with both illness and the bizarre reality of being back on the road, Williams later said that she felt supported by the fans.
How Hayley Williams Finally Tackled ‘All I Wanted’ and Made It a Live Show Staple
“As soon as we got onstage, I felt so comforted by all those faces,” Hayley Williams told The New Yorker in 2023. “Our crowds, thankfully, are super diverse. They really reflect the world that I would love to see. That aspect also made me feel safe.”
She continued, “It made me feel like—all right, well, the news sucks, but there are still these beautiful faces, and these people that are getting through things, too. We all just need a release. We need to feel safe together for a moment. That’s what brings me joy.”
In 2023, “All I Wanted” got another chance at a live performance. Williams invited Billie Eilish out to Paramore’s Los Angeles show in July that year, after learning that “All I Wanted” is Eilish’s favorite Paramore song. Williams had joined Eilish at her Coachella set in 2022, performing “Misery Business” and “Happier Than Ever,” and the connection was easy and natural.
“All I Wanted” became a staple of Paramore live shows, and even though Hayley Williams is going solo for a bit, it still remains a singular favorite for longtime fans. While the origins of “All I Wanted” came from fear of the unknown, shifting relationships, and a persistent worry that she wouldn’t be able to get the right words down, Williams has since turned her attention to living more in the present moment. Whether that’s “work or whether it’s just being with my dog and going on a big walk,” as she told Rolling Stone in 2023, “I need to be here now.”
Photo by Todd Owyoung/NBC via Getty Images
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