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Let It Go, Man
In a late-night post on his Truth Social platform, President Trump — not for the first time — said that ABC should fire Jimmy Kimmel.
Kimmel shrugged it off on Thursday, saying he’d “honestly lost count now of how many times the president has demanded I be pulled off the air.”
“I woke up this morning, I’m in bed. My wife comes out of the bathroom. She’s got her phone. She goes, ‘Um, Trump tweeted you should be fired again.’ I was like, ‘Oh.’ And then I went downstairs and made bagels for the kids.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Talk about a snowflake, this guy. Every five weeks, he flips out and wants me fired. If you got this many threats from a neighbor, you’d have no problem getting a restraining order. The judge would be like, ‘Yeah, sounds like the guy’s nuts.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“He posted this, I think this is interesting, at 12:49 a.m., 11 minutes after the show ended on the East Coast. Which is nice, he watches us live. Hi, Mr. President! How are you? Thanks for watching us on TV instead of on YouTube, we appreciate that. And I’ll tell you, it’s viewers like you who keep us on the air, ironically.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“It’s also sweet that, even in the middle of the biggest sex scandal in the history of the American presidency, he takes precious time on the toilet to post about our show. Keeps saying we have bad ratings. And you should listen to him, because if anyone knows about bad ratings, it’s that guy.” — JIMMY KIMMEL, before showing a montage of news clips about Trump’s falling poll numbers
“Mr. President, I admire your tenacity. If you’re watching tonight, which I presume you are, how about this: I’ll go when you go, OK? We’ll be a team. Let’s ride off into the sunset together like Butch Cassidy and the Suntan Kid. And until then, if I may borrow a phrase from you: Quiet, piggy.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Off Camera Edition)
“President Trump signed a bill into law last night that orders the Justice Department to release the Epstein files, and the legislation includes several loopholes. For example, they could release them into the sea.” — SETH MEYERS
“He signed the bill after the White House issued a so-called ‘photo lid,’ which shut down any on-camera opportunities. He signed it off camera, and he’ll sign anything on camera: executive orders, sneakers, lady parts, wall parts, a toddler. Trump is avoiding cameras! That’s like the Pillsbury Doughboy avoiding nudity.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“So now this bill’s a law. It’s fully legal, or as Megyn Kelly would probably call it, ‘Sixteen.’” — RONNY CHIENG
The Bits Worth Watching
Billy Strings performed “Leaning on a Travelin’ Song” from his album “Highway Prayers” on “The Late Show.”
Also, Check This Out
Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande return to Oz in “Wicked: For Good,” the less frenetic, more downbeat second half of Jon M. Chu’s adaptation of the Broadway musical.
The post ‘I’ll Go When You Go,’ Jimmy Kimmel Tells Trump appeared first on New York Times.
