This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Keaidy Bennett, a 36-year-old who sold her marital home in Fort Worth, Texas, in 2021. The interview has been edited for length and clarity.
In 2019, my ex-husband and I purchased our first home in Fort Worth, Texas, for $222,000. We were able to buy our home with down payment assistance available to veterans.
Our starter home had four bedrooms and three bathrooms, and was an almost 3,000-square-foot home. I had my own garden, an office, and all three of my children had their own rooms, as well as an upstairs playroom. We were also in a really great school district. The home really was a dream come true.
Unfortunately, by 2020, our marriage was coming to an end. When you’re breaking apart a life you once built, it just feels like everything is crashing down. Eventually, I moved in with my mom.
When I finally filed for divorce, there wasn’t much conversation about it — we just decided to sell the house. It felt like our life together was over, so that was over, too.
I wish we hadn’t sold our house
Once I finally got to a point where I was ready to divorce, my emotions were so heightened that all of my common sense kind of went out of the window. I can’t speak for him, but in that moment, I wasn’t thinking about the long-term vision.
During the divorce, he agreed to take whatever he had, and I agreed to take whatever I had. The only real sore spot was the house. We both felt strongly about wanting to keep the house.
I assumed I’d stay at home with our children, as we were within walking distance of their school.
Still, I hired a real estate attorney to help with the sale process because I was overwhelmed. In the end, we sold it and split the proceeds.
Looking back, it was the wrong approach. I wish we had taken some time to really consider the future for our children — and how keeping that asset could have benefited everyone in the long run.
It’s more difficult to become a homeowner now
When we purchased our home in 2019, it was the perfect time in the real estate market — everything fell into place: A low mortgage rate and a reasonable home price. However, today it’s a very different story; the housing market just isn’t what it used to be.
When we bought back then, we had more leverage. I remember walking into certain places and saying, “I don’t like this,” and they’d be agreeable to making changes. But now, the prices of everything have gone up.
My children and I now live in a townhome in Central Florida that I’m renting. It’s been four years since we moved, but my children still make comments about missing their old playroom or the scenic view they had from their bedroom.
I pay $1,598 for my townhome, and with extras like internet and the in-unit washer and dryer, it comes to almost $2,000 a month. It’s more than our previous mortgage of $1,738.
The last time I checked, our old home’s value had also almost doubled since we purchased it. Instead of selling and losing that asset, I wish we could have found another solution that would have had a more positive financial impact on us and our children.
Don’t let emotions rule your finances
Fortunately, my ex-husband and I are on great terms.
Still, if I had known then what I know now, I would have found a way to cohabitate. I’d say to my ex, “Let’s just keep the house. When it’s your time, I’ll leave — and vice versa.”
Honestly, I think that could have worked for us if we had slowed down and really thought the process through.
I don’t think anyone gets married expecting to get divorced, but if I were to go through a divorce again, I’d definitely be more of an adult about it. I’d also have those tough discussions upfront — like, if anything were to happen, this is how we’d handle it.
Editor’s note: Bennett’s ex-husband declined to comment.
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