Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Counting Down
On Tuesday, Congress approved a bill ordering the Justice Department to release all files related to its investigation of Jeffrey Epstein, the sex offender whose famous friends over the years included Donald J. Trump.
“When it comes to Congress, it’s increasingly rare that things happen,” Stephen Colbert said. “And today, something did.”
“Of course, this vote doesn’t mean the Epstein files will be released right away. The bill now has to go to the Senate, where it may be amended. And if it’s passed there, and amended, it would go back to the House, where it has to cross a river, and under the bridge is a troll, and to get by the troll, you have to answer his riddle: ‘What walks on two cankles in the morning, rides a golf cart in the afternoon and is totally in the Epstein files?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“I mean, tomorrow we might know everything he and his pervert buddies did. Meaning, it’s Epstein Rockin’ Eve. Stay up — stay up for a ball drop you’re going to want to miss.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“After the vote was passed to release the Epstein files, white smoke emerged from the Oval Office chimney — ’cause Trump started burning them.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Yeah, and if the day couldn’t get any worse for Trump, halfway through the vote, there was a performance from Bad Bunny.” — JIMMY FALLON
“The final vote was 427 to 1. I mean, it just goes to show every office has that one weirdo.” — JIMMY FALLON
“If anyone thinks he’s going to release all the Epstein files, I’ve got a beautiful East Wing of the White House to sell you.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Crown Prince Edition)
“How dare you embarrass a man who had a columnist sawed into pieces?” — JIMMY KIMMEL on President Trump’s angry reaction to a reporter who asked his guest, Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman of Saudi Arabia, about U.S. intelligence agencies’ conclusion that he ordered the murder of a journalist
“The crown prince did address the murder. He said, ‘We’ve improved our system to be sure that nothing happened like that. It’s painful and it’s a huge mistake and we’re doing our best that this doesn’t happen again.’ Doing their best to make sure it doesn’t happen again. This is not what you say about a murder. This is what the manager of Jersey Mike’s says when they accidentally put pepperoni on your tuna sandwich.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“A little etiquette, please. This man is a guest in our country. Why are you asking him about the journalist he bone-sawed? It’s like no one has manners anymore.” — RONNY CHIENG
“How dare you embarrass our guest! Now he’s going to feel all self-conscious when he tries to chop up somebody like you.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, imitating Trump
The Bits Worth Watching
Ariana Grande joined Jimmy Fallon for some renditions of well-known duets on “The Tonight Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
Jonathan Bailey, the “Wicked: For Good” star chosen by People as this year’s Sexiest Man Alive, will appear on “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”
Also, Check This Out
The Atlanta singer-songwriter Summer Walker rolls her eyes and brings in like-minded cynics on her new album, “Finally Over It.”
The post Stephen Colbert Celebrates ‘Epstein Rockin’ Eve’ appeared first on New York Times.
