In today’s economy, finding a financially secure partner seems nearly impossible. I mean, many of us are struggling just to stay afloat. Perhaps that’s why 44% of Millennials and 37% of Gen Z think being “frugal” with your money is sexy.
Wealth isn’t just about how much money you earn or how many extravagant trips you can afford. Rather, it’s about prioritizing stability over luxury, according to recent data from Hily Dating App.
This idea is known as “frugmance,” a dating trend that values financial mindfulness and resourcefulness.
What Is a Frugmance?
A frugmance is essentially a relationship built on stability and financially sound decision-making.
“A frugmance is a romance centered on financial mindfulness, where both people value thoughtfulness, resourcefulness, and smart spending as part of building a long-term connection,” says Julie Nguyen, certified dating coach at Hily Dating App. “It’s not about being cheap; it’s about being intentional and thinking ahead.”
Relationships thrive off shared values and aligned actions. The more financial mindfulness you practice together, the more security you build as a couple.
“In a frugmance, partners see frugality as a green flag because it reflects stability, self-awareness, and a shared desire to build something real,” Nguyen explains. “It’s romance that feels grounded, sustainable, and emotionally mature.”
Tips for Choosing a Financially Mindful Partner
1. Look for Consistency
I think we can all agree it’s nice to receive grand gestures from a lover. However, if someone is constantly trying to woo you by splurging on extravagant gifts and experiences, their intentions (and financial habits) might not be as positive as you assume.
“Financial mindfulness shows up in everyday decisions with how someone plans, budgets, and follows through,” says Nguyen. “Look for someone who is consistent in how they handle money and doesn’t shy away from conversations.”
2. Pay Attention to How They Discuss Money
When you’re discussing finances, how does your partner participate in the conversation? Do they shut down? Dismiss your concerns? Deflect from the subject?
“A financially mindful partner doesn’t avoid the topic or overinflate their means,” says Nguyen. “Notice whether they communicate openly, whether they’re realistic about their lifestyle and whether they speak in terms of long-term thinking rather than short-term impressiveness.”
3. Value Experiences Over Extravagance
You don’t need an over-the-top date night to feel showered with care. In fact, most of us are actually seeking stability and security.
“Someone who can create meaningful dates without overspending usually has a grounded sense of priorities,” Nguyen explains. “This can indicate they care more about depth in their connection instead of optics or showing off, which can be incredibly appealing when you’re building a future with someone.”
4. Don’t Dwell On Their Income
Don’t judge someone based on their income. Instead, pay more attention to their financial habits, spending/saving patterns, and sense of responsibility.
“Financial alignment is less about how much someone earns and more about how they manage what they have,” Nguyen points out. “Look at their habits to assess. Are they responsible? Do they plan ahead? Do they make impulsive choices? Are they able to save for a rainy day? Can they take care of themselves without taking on debt? Money management can reveal a lot about emotional regulation and long-term compatibility.”
5. Watch Whether They Factor You Into Their Decisions
A frugmance is all about aligning with someone who is financially mindful, both for themselves and for the good of the relationship.
“A financially mindful partner isn’t controlling. They collaborate,” Nguyen says. “They’re open to discussing budgets, finding deals, and planning together. They’re able to delay instant gratification for a larger goal. Co-creating builds trust and makes money feel like a shared topic that isn’t stressful.”
The post Being Frugal Is Sexy: The Rise of ‘Frugmance’ appeared first on VICE.
