Donald Trump wants to crush The Swamp. The leaks, the sneaks, and the secrets are all there. Our writers, David Gardner, Farrah Tomazin, and Sarah Ewall-Wice, are sifting through the ooze so you don’t have to. Don’t miss out.
In this week’s news from the ooze: Jamie Dimon, Leon Black, Rudy Giuliani, Jack Smith, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Joan Didion, Allan Kournikova, Jessica Tisch, Isaac Stein, Zohran Mamdani, Larry Summers, Pete Hegseth, Russ Vought, Reid Hoffman, Steven Spielberg, and Olivia Nuzzi.
Black Spot on Epstein Prosecutor’s Resume
If you need another example of why Pam Bondi’s Department of Justice looks less like an independent law enforcement agency and more like a gated cul-de-sac for MAGA allies, fix your gaze on Jay Clayton.
At the behest of a president desperate to deflect the Jeffrey Epstein scandal in any other direction, Bondi handpicked Clayton, the U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York, to investigate Epstein’s links to former president Bill Clinton, LinkedIn co-founder Reid Hoffman, and former Harvard President Larry Summers.
But Clayton is also the man that Trump and his first-term attorney general Bill Barr tried to shoehorn into the SDNY in 2020, as they sought to push out top prosecutor Geoffrey Berman, who happened to be circling Trump allies like Rudy Giuliani and Steve Bannon at the time.
The mission failed, and Clayton, the chair of the Securities and Exchange Commission in Trump’s first term, then found himself luxuriating on the board of Apollo Global Management, courtesy of Apollo founder and Trump ally Leon Black.
Readers of The Swamp might recall that Black was also an Epstein associate who paid the sex offender roughly $170 million, nominally for “tax and estate planning.” While Black has denied knowing anything about Epstein’s industrial-scale sex trafficking, a 2023 settlement with the U.S. Virgin Islands Attorney General shows Black admitted that the money he paid Epstein was used, in part, to “fund [Epstein’s] operations.”
The document also shows that Black agreed to pay $62.5 million to the U.S. Virgin Islands in 2023 to be released from any potential claims arising out of the territory’s three-year investigation into those very “operations.”
And just to keep the Trump vibes on brand: in 2018, as Congress probed foreign meddling in the 2016 election, Black testified about traveling with the president to Russia in the “naughty ’90s,” where they hit a concert, a discotheque, and “might have been in a strip club together.”
Now, Bondi has put Clayton, the man Trump desperately wanted to install a few years ago, in charge of “investigating” the Epstein files.
“As with all matters, the Department will pursue this agency with urgency and integrity,” Bondi said this week, four months after issuing a memo insisting there was nothing left to probe.
Mixed Signals for Pentagon Pete
Given the mess they made of the Signalgate chat group debacle, Pete Hegseth and his pals at the Ministry of Bore need to take extra care when using the new app they have selected to avoid inadvertently sending all our military secrets to the North Koreans. Signal’s end-to-end encryption is supposed to keep messages private, and it probably seemed perfect for Hegseth to send his administration buddies (and his wife) details of sensitive military info. Except that The Atlantic’s Editor-in-Chief, Jeffrey Goldberg, was included in the chat. Now we’re told Hegseth has chosen the Convos app for their private conversations. Just as long as they don’t mix up their apps. Also available in the Apple App Store is Couples and Love Games – Convos, which appears to be more about firing up the passions than cosplaying warrior ethos. It is described as a way to “spice up conversations and strengthen relationships.” The Swamp can’t wait to be included in Pentagon Pete’s next chat group.
Kimberly Guilfoyle’s Z Style
The newly-installed U.S. Ambassador to Greece is getting right into character in her new job, even if it puts her at odds with her boss. Donald Trump famously wasn’t a fan of Volodymyr Zelensky’s nightclub bouncer garb for their infamous White House meeting. But Ambassador Kimberly Guilfoyle was looking for a more inclusive feel when she mimicked Z’s all black outfit for the Ukrainian leader’s visit to Athens this week. Maybe Kimberly, whose father was raised in Ireland, was going for a different look. Black and tan.
Rolling Stones
It’s been a difficult week for Ryan Lizza. His ex-fiancée, the self-styled modern-day Drone Didion, Olivia Nuzzi is writing a purple-prose tell-all about her digital fling with RFK Jr. In response, Lizza is setting out his side of the tawdry story on his Telos News substack. (If you’re curious, “telos” is ancient Greek for “purpose.) It’s all quite sordid and sad, but there is some good news for the Lizza family. Ryan’s brother, Frank Lizza, a former owner of the family firm, Intercounty Paving Associates, is coming to the end of a six-month home confinement sentence imposed in July at federal court in Brooklyn for a wage fraud scheme perpetrated on workers for the Lizza construction dynasty.
The Cardboard King’s Back Mar-a-Lago Love-In
Billionaire cardboard king Anthony Pratt is back in Donald Trump’s warm embrace: proof that in Trumpworld, no bridge is too burnt if you’re willing to splash enough cash—and maybe throw a party at Mar-a-Lago. Pratt, who is Australian, held a private shindig at the president’s Florida estate over the weekend, grinning his way through festivities alongside Trump. Perhaps inspired by the YMCA, fellow Australian Keith Urban wowed the crowd with his own rendition of Chappell Roan’s gay anthem, Pink Pony Club.
It’s been a while since Pratt, the executive chairman of multinational packaging company Visa, which owns Pratt Industries in the U.S., had been spotted partying at Mar-a-Lago. He used to be an enthusiastic member, who boasted to a Melbourne-based Jewish lobby group in late 2019 that it was a “strategic” play to secure access to Trump. “My membership has given me a seat at the table where the president relaxes socially and mingles with his guests,” he said. “The key thing being a member at Mar-a-Lago has done has been that I see the president a few times a year.” In April 2021, he certainly did see the president—who, according to former Mar-a-Lago employee Ben Butler, told him classified secrets about U.S. and Russian submarines. This indiscretion put Pratt on the radar of special counsel Jack Smith’s investigation, which is not exactly the place most billionaires want to find themselves. Trump wasn’t pleased either, calling Pratt a “red-haired weirdo” as he lashed out at the reports about their conversations. Lucky for both men, Smith’s charges against Trump never made it to trial, so the cardboard king avoided being called as a witness and has since bought himself a ticket out of the doghouse with a $5 million pledge to Trump to support American businesses. Consider it the great reconciliation of 2025: Trump gets a rich friend back at Mar-a-Lago, Pratt gets his access restored, and everyone politely pretends Joe Biden’s Department of Justice never asked uncomfortable questions about their chats. In politics as in packaging, it’s all about recycling—especially relationships.
Washington’s Shutdown Side Hustles: From Furloughed to Fired-Up
If there’s one thing a Washington shutdown reliably produces—besides existential dread and unopened emails—it’s a city full of bored, furloughed federal workers discovering their “true passions.” Some re-started their sourdough starter. Others tried their hand at DJing. One worker on Reddit announced he was planning to set up an OnlyFans account. But the breakout star of Shutdown Season was Isaac Stein, an IRS lawyer who turned his unexpected time off into a very different kind of taxing enterprise: hot dogs. While some of his colleagues were waiting to learn their fate from Grim Reaper Russ Vought, Stein was living his side hustle dream: rolling out Shysters Dogs, a hotdog stand on the corner of M and 1st streets in DC’s NoMa neighbourhood. The stand, which Stein says “is about bringing the nostalgia of a New York hotdog cart right to downtown D.C.,” quickly drew curious Hill staffers and furloughed feds. Stein’s menu offers two choices: (1) “The Only Choice: Correct Hot Dog and Drink” features a steamed hot dog on a bun served with spicy brown mustard and sauerkraut–no modifications permitted ($10); or (2) “Hot Dog with the Wrong Topping, and Drink which allows modifications ($11). The shutdown may be over, and the IRS lawyer is back at his desk. But the good news is that Stein’s hot dog stand will live on. “I intend to keep the day job and operate Shysters on weekends and some Fridays,” he says. Who knew that career reinvention in Washington would simply require a grill, a permit, a little bureaucratic downtime, and sauerkraut.
Rich Man, Poor Man, Beggar Man, Mayor…
Zohran Mamdani may be looking for a chat with Donald Trump, but he’s not planning to connect with any other rich dudes anytime soon. Jamie Dimon, CEO and Chairman of JPMorgan Chase, tried calling Mamdani before the New York mayoral election and left another message after his victory. Nada. Maybe he’ll get a call when New York runs out of cash. Meanwhile, Trump, of course, will talk to anyone. He’s meeting Dimon AND Mamdani.
Police Inquiries
Talking of Mamdani, sources tell The Swamp the mayor is committed to Police Commissioner Jessica Tisch—holder of not one, not two, but three degrees from Harvard and generally reckoned to be doing a bang-up job—but there’s no harm in having a Plan B. Perhaps that’s why his people have reached out quietly to a potential replacement or two to sound them out on their interest…
SPOTTED:
Hollywood heavyweights hit the town in Washington, DC, over the weekend just as Donald Trump made a short exit for Florida. Producer and director Steven Spielberg made an appearance to receive a 2025 Portrait of a Nation award from the National Portrait Gallery. Among the presenters was actress Claire Danes. Another awardee was Jamie Dimon fresh off a visit to the White House (but not City Hall). He was presented with an award by Amazon founder Jeff Bezos.
Trump’s Granddaughter, Kournikova’s Brother, and a Difficult Lie
Spare a thought for Kai Trump’s caddy at her disastrous WPGA debut at The ANNIKA in Florida last weekend. The president’s granddaughter, 18, had a tough introduction to big-time golf, coming last in the field. Her caddy was 21-year-old Allan Kournikova, the younger brother of tennis star Anna Kournikova, who is rumored to be Kai’s secret beau. The two grew up together and back in January Allan escorted her to Trump’s inauguration. Kai, daughter of Don Jr. and ex-wife Vanessa (who is now dating golf/sex legend Tiger Woods), put on a brave face after the tournament, but Allan was in a tough position. Did he commiserate with Kai as her boyfriend… or take the blame as her caddy?
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