Courtesy of Mikala Jamison
A few weeks ago, something terrible happened. I arrived at the gym and realized I'd forgotten my headphones.
I was tempted to throw my car into reverse, tear out of the parking garage, and zip back home to get them (or just throw in the towel on the workout entirely that day). But I trudged in, resigned to the fact that I'd have to listen to the gym's often terrible soundtrack and go without my trusty amp-up playlist.
Not wearing headphones led to a pleasant interaction
At one point, I was resting on a hip thrust machine, letting my mind wander without auditory stimuli beaming directly into my brain — kind of nice, actually — when a woman called, "Hey, do you have a second?" and asked for advice on using the belt squat machine. I was happy to help, and we chatted for a bit before exchanging friendly goodbyes. If I see her there again, I know I'll say hello and chat with her again. Later, I realized: Maybe my no-headphones gym day led to making a new friend.
I've long been an advocate for the gym as a place to make friends. I wrote an article in 2024 about how group fitness classes, in particular (which I taught for several years), are especially conducive to friendship-making because they foster the proximity, frequency, and shared interest necessary to connect with others. From teaching and attending classes myself, I've established new friendships that persist to this day.
But when I go to the open floor plan gym by myself, things are obviously a lot less social. I move through my lifting routine with my big, clunky headphones firmly planted over my ears. As a typically extroverted person, this isn't always meant to be a "leave me alone" move (I've also written that I think it's OK to flirt with people in the gym, with caveats!); it's just become a habit, and blasting music of my choice really does help me during my sessions.
Courtesy of Mikala Jamison
The issue, though, is that headphones-on is pretty universally regarded as a 'do not approach' sign, and I wonder if the woman who asked me for help would have felt as comfortable doing so if I had my ears blocked by my Bose headphones. I know I'd feel less disruptive, even subconsciously, to talk to someone if I didn't have to make the "Can I bother you to take your headphones off?" gesture first.
I wonder how many opportunities I've missed to have even the smallest friendly interaction with someone because we're all locked into our own worlds on the gym floor. I ended up feeling glad that I'd forgotten my headphones that day. It was a minor inconvenience that turned into a pleasant benefit.
I won't always go headphone-free, but now, I'll find a happy medium
I'm not suggesting that anyone should go totally headphones-free if they don't want to (I won't), and I understand that for many people, the gym is a place to focus on movement and decompress from days filled with perhaps too many person-to-person interactions at work and elsewhere.
For me, though, someone who works from home as a writer and spends inordinate hours alone, small interactions with other people keep me feeling happy and human. From now on, I'll probably go headphones-on during my sets and pop them off in between. I want gyms to feel like friendlier places, and maybe this is a simple start.
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