You know what they say: the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. However, so many of us neglect ourselves while attempting to fit in elsewhere, whether with family, friends, community, or even a specific partner. Unfortunately, this can lead to a host of issues, like weak boundaries, unfillment, and resentment.
Want to avoid the cost of self-neglect? Here are six ways to build a stronger relationship with yourself.
1. Take Care of Your Health
Your health should be your number 1 priority. Without it, you won’t be able to show up for your own life or for your loved ones. However, remember that your health includes your mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, and even financial well-being. Find ways to balance all of these so you feel safe, secure, and stable in your body, home, and community.
2. Practice Self-Compassion
Oftentimes, we’re quick to show compassion to others but fall short when it comes to ourselves. If you’re your own worst critic rather than your own best friend, your relationship with yourself will never be healthy. Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to your friends, and challenge negative self-talk with words of encouragement. This won’t enable your behavior—it will support and inspire positive change. As they say, you can’t hate yourself into a version you love.
3. Honor Your Needs and Desires
Everyone has different wants and needs—there’s no right or wrong. Just because someone else might not share the same requirements you do doesn’t mean yours are invalid. In fact, this is how we find compatible partners, friends, careers, and lifestyles.
For example, maybe you want a partner with whom you can build a marriage and family, while your ex prefers dating around and doesn’t see kids in her future. Does that mean either of you should feel ashamed of your life goals? Of course not. It simply means you’re looking for different things, and therefore, each of you would benefit from different partners.
By honoring your own needs—without shaming yourself or others for not being able to meet them—you provide yourself with internal validation. This prevents you from seeking external validation, which could end up making you compromise your values and desires. Stay true to yourself, and trust you will find the people and opportunities that best align with you.
4. Spend Time Alone With Yourself
One of the best ways to build a strong relationship with yourself is to spend time alone. Take yourself on dates, practice self-care routines at home, and get comfortable with your own company. Independence helps you learn to trust and rely on yourself, both of which are crucial when it comes to any relationship.
5. Respect Your Own Time
Without realizing it, we often disrespect ourselves by taking our precious time for granted. For example, maybe you spend all weekend scrolling on TikTok instead of working toward that goal you’ve been meaning to achieve; or perhaps you say “yes” to every invite you receive without allowing yourself the opportunity to rest. Ask yourself honestly: if I had more time, how would I genuinely want to spend it? Then, carve out moments to do just that.
6. Surround Yourself With People Who Make You Feel Good
I know this one sounds obvious, but so many people keep toxic friends, partners, or even family members in their lives out of guilt. Of course, I’m not recommending you cut off every person you butt heads with, but give more of your energy to those who bring you peace, support, and genuine love. In doing so, remember that people who love you will still challenge you, which is a good thing. You’ll know the difference between someone who brings healthy accountability vs. someone who offers straight-up bullying.
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