Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘Tis the Season
President Trump posted a lengthy Truth Social post last Thursday where he referred to Gov. Tim Walz in a derogatory fashion for welcoming immigrants to Minnesota from Somalia.
“On Thanksgiving? Are you confusing that with Festivus?” Jon Stewart said on Monday, referring to the made-up holiday from the television show “Seinfeld,” in which one day is designated as the “Airing of Grievances.”
“When Ken Burns does the documentary on this era: [imitating narrator] ‘And then the president called Tim Walz retarded.’” — JON STEWART
“Another bold statement from the president of the eighth grade.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“See? He can be presidential when he wants to be.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“I wonder why he didn’t get that Nobel Peace Prize? It makes no sense.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Something wrong with him? With him? You were sitting with your family at Thanksgiving, belly full of turkey and pie, surrounded by the love of your extended crime family, but your initial instinct was to Truth a slur at Tim Walz? And there’s something wrong with him?” — JON STEWART
The Punchiest Punchlines (Release the M.R.I. Edition)
“That’s not physically possible to have no idea. It’s not possible. What did you say to the doctor? ‘No, no, don’t tell me. I want to find out at my M.R.I. reveal party.’” — JON STEWART, on President Trump claiming not to know what part of his body was examined during his recent M.R.I.
“For God’s sake, man, were you not curious at all, when they laid you down in a tube for a half an hour to 45 minutes, you didn’t want to know what they might be doing, or did you just think to yourself, ‘what a loud tanning bed?’” — JON STEWART
“So you didn’t even know what they scanned, but you got a perfect score. ’Cause, by the way, that’s how they score the M.R.I.s: You either get a big stamp ‘perfect’ or you get, in red ink, ‘See me.’ ” — JON STEWART
“Or is, perhaps, the cognitive test knowing what part of your body was scanned? Maybe that was the test.” — JON STEWART
“Here’s a theory: Maybe the part that’s broken is the part that’s supposed to know.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“[imitating Trump] It wasn’t the brain, OK? I did so well on the cognitive, they put me in the extra-credit tube.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Wow, that Melania is a lucky lady, indeed. She really is. As far as this brain stuff, I don’t know what people are worried about.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
Jimmy Fallon and his guest, Sydney Sweeney, played a game of “What’s Behind Me?” on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
The actress Gillian Anderson, who stars in “The Abandons,” will appear on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
Also, Check This Out
Two competing New York City Christmas tree vendors are at the center of Celia Aniskovich’s new documentary, “The Merchants of Joy.”
The post Late Night Lashes Out at Trump’s Tim Walz Taunt appeared first on New York Times.
