Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘Speaking of Rigged Outcomes’
Amazon’s new “Melania” documentary brought in a reported $7 million at the box office its first weekend in theaters.
Jimmy Kimmel suggested on Wednesday that the film’s success was a “rigged outcome.”
“Allegedly, they exceeded box office expectations. They had the best opening for a nonmusical documentary in 10 years, which I think is a fancy way of saying it only lost tens of millions of dollars.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“And $7 million would seem like a solid opening, until you realize that’s less than 10 percent of the $75 million Amazon spent on the documentary, which includes paying the first lady herself at least $28 million. That’s enough cash to put a smile on your face, if that were physically possible.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“If you don’t believe this is the kind of thing they would do, you may be forgetting that, back in 2019, the Republican National Committee bought $100,000 worth of Don Jr’s book to put in swag bags to make it a New York Times best seller. Don Jr.’s book debuted number one on the New York Times best-seller list, despite the fact that no one has ever read it. No one has ever even opened that book. It might be filled with blank pages. We will never know.” — JIMMY KIMMEL, on reports suggesting “Melania” ticket sales were boosted by bulk purchases
“As of tonight, ‘Melania’ has a score of 5 percent on Rotten Tomatoes from the critics. That is very low. To put that in perspective, that is 1 percent lower than ‘Gigli.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“That’s just what the loser and hater critics had to say. The audience score is 99 percent positive, which is 1 percent higher than ‘The Godfather.’ And I’m sure Donald J. Corleone had nothing to do with that at all.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Sources say there were signs that blocks of tickets to ‘Melania’ were purchased and then distributed to Republican activists and senior citizens’ homes, which are really the same thing.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“We need to get to the bottom of this. Send in Tulsi Gabbard and the F.B.I. Seize the ticket machines, the popcorn buckets, the box office receipts at every multiplex in America!” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Democracy Dies Edition)
“What’s black and white and dead all over? The Washington Post, because today, the WaPo cut a third of its staff.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“You know this is bad, because rather than read that headline from The Washington Post, I pulled it from Philadelphia’s ABC 6 Action News. Yeah, no pressure, ABC 6 Action News, but from here on out, it’s just you and The New York Times.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“I guess he spent all the budget on ‘Melania.’ Well, well done, Jeff.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Now, reportedly, Bezos’ lackey, executive editor Matt Murray, told staff members the company had lost too much money for too long, thanks to declining audiences and sagging subscriptions. I would tell you more of what he said, but it was behind the paywall, and daddy don’t play like that.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Reporters who report on reporters are unhappy, reportedly, because The Atlantic summed up the whole thing by calling it ‘the murder of the Washington Post.’ Yeah, their masthead used to say, ‘Democracy dies in darkness,’ but now it’s just ‘Democracy: Die! Die! Die!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
The Grammy-nominated pop group Katseye teased a new dance from their Super Bowl State Farm ad on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
Nick Jonas will promote his new album, “Sunday Best,” on Thursday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”
Also, Check This Out
Miss Piggy was never meant to be more than a bit player, but she maintains her status as a pop culture icon in the new Muppets special premiering on Wednesday.
The post Jimmy Kimmel Hints ‘Melania’ Box Office Was a ‘Rigged Outcome’ appeared first on New York Times.
