Following Sarah Fletcher’s Jan. 4 Sunday Opinion essay, “The magic has gone out of flirting. Maybe this infamous book had a point.,” Post Opinions asked readers: “What should flirting look like in 2026?” Here are some of the responses.
Flirting in 2026 should be slow, intentional and honest. It should not rely on tricks, scripts or performance, but on creating respectful tension. A small tease that invites curiosity, an open smile held a second longer than necessary, the courage to meet someone’s gaze and not look away too quickly.
There is bravery in vulnerability. Opening with something real, not rehearsed or strategic, is a way of saying, “I’m taking a small risk here.” That risk breaks the ice. It signals interest without entitlement.
I was never good at pickup lines or techniques. What worked for me was a willingness to build something over time. The love of my life made me wait a month from my first approach to our first kiss. That wait mattered. It allowed anticipation to grow, trust to form and intention to become clear. When the kiss finally came, it carried meaning because of everything that preceded it.
In an age of instant replies, swipes and outcomes, choosing to slow down may be the most radical form of flirting we have left. The old ways were not better. But taking time to build tension, to be seen and to choose each other is still worth preserving.
Diego Hijano, Memphis
What is flirting, anyway? Whether young or old, I think it’s establishing a connection, realizing together that the moment may be fleeting but that it has captured some nexus that makes you feel you count.
It requires exposing yourself in a way, leaving your self-absorption behind and touching someone’s senses, though the “touch” is not necessarily physical.
For women in midlife, especially, who can often feel unseen, it’s showing that they are “seen” and alive.
Patricia Aiken O’Neill, Naples, Florida
Flirters should not outdo or talk over the flirtee, or discuss other relationships. No work, politics or religion! That is third-date material. Ask about how they ended up “here” (party, bar, grocery store, theater). Show genuine interest in their lives. See where the common ground is and run with it. Then ask where they’d like to meet again for another lovely conversation.
Carlyn Hampton, Huntington Beach, California
A friend once told me that I should avoid talking about social justice on a first date. I argued that I didn’t want to waste my time with someone who would either blow me off or be intimidated by the topic.
That friend and I have been married (to each other) for 15 years and have three kids. We still talk about the world, our values and our role in all of it.
So my advice for flirting in 2026 would be the same as it has always been: Be yourself. Life is too short to waste on people who can’t or won’t get you.
Nikki D’Adamo-Damery, Mechanicsville, Virginia
I think a lot of women are hungry for men to flirt with them, as long as it’s done right. The right way involves smiling, looking into the woman’s eyes, and saying something funny or cute or giving her a sincere, polite compliment. (Nothing suggestive or aggressive, and never flirt with a co-worker you have some power over. Many women have been punished career-wise for saying no in these situations, and this led to a lot of the anger women felt toward men.) If the woman is looking back into the man’s eyes and smiling, he can ask her if she’d like to go get coffee, or if he can buy her a drink, or if he can take her to dinner. The key thing at this point is to graciously accept her answer if she says no. It’s pretty simple. Just go easy, be polite, and back off if she doesn’t say yes.
Allison Gentile, Albuquerque
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