Every year, I leave my home — and my kids — behind for a short time to travel to Japan alone.
The distance, both geographic and cultural, gives me enough space and time to live authentically: to be the curious explorer, the immersion-based language learner, and the person I am apart from being “Mom.”
As an introverted parent, these solo trips aren’t just a luxury — they’re fundamental to my well-being and actually help me be a better mother.
It’s nice to truly have time to myself when I’m abroad
Although I have some “me time” when the kids are at school or in after-school care, most days are filled with working, shopping, cooking, cleaning, planning, and juggling activities.
Even at night when they’re asleep, I’m still alert and “on” in case they need me. By immersing myself in a completely different culture, far from home, I’m able to truly switch off and decompress.
Last year, I discovered that three weeks is too long to be away from my kids — two weeks is the perfect trip length. It gives me enough of an opportunity to break out of the home routines and really relax before stepping back into daily life.
I come home recharged and refreshed, able to easily assimilate back into our routines with renewed energy.
I’m fortunate that my co-parent, the father of my children, is a team player. Both of us believe it’s important to model cooperation, balance, self-care, and authenticity to our kids.
We take turns supporting each other when the other parent travels internationally. So far, my solo trips have been to Japan.
Japan might not be the first place you’d expect to find the calm and quiet my introverted self craves, but it feels surprisingly familiar. In many ways, the country reminds me of my home in Switzerland.
Things I love about Switzerland — functionality, punctuality, cleanliness, and general quietness — are also present in Japanese society.
For me, it’s a dream environment where public spaces and public transportation respect the collective. Silence isn’t awkward here; it’s a normal part of day-to-day life.
Instead of leaning into luxury hotel stays and restful spa days, I prioritize immersing myself in different neighborhoods and taking in the sights.
As a polyglot learning Japanese, I get to practice my language skills with every interaction. It allows me to stay deeply connected to people, places, and culture in a meaningful way.
Parents are people, too — and I love heading home with a revitalized mindset
There’s this unspoken expectation that a “loving mother” means constantly being there and available; that a good parent shouldn’t want time or space away from their children.
However, these trips aren’t selfish; they help sustain me.
I love my children, and I love being a mom. But before I had them, I had an identity that wasn’t only related to who I was to someone else. My passions for travel, languages, and other cultures, as well as their cuisines, didn’t disappear the second I became a parent.
Before having kids, I was a world traveler. With kids, I’m still a world traveler — sometimes we go on trips together so they can experience new things and explore, but other times I venture out by myself.
For a couple of weeks a year, I need some alone time to recharge and reset; to recenter myself and attend to the things that make me, me.
Maybe in a year or two, my kiddos will join me in Japan. But for now, these solo trips are about honoring my needs so I can be the best parent possible when I get home.
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