In 1990, one year after the Berlin Wall came down, my parents decided to move from Western Germany to Eastern Germany to become a Tupperware franchise partner.
For my parents, it was a goldmine. People were starved of luxury for almost 30 years, and they were hungry to discover the world and everything it had to offer.
I was 8 years old at the time, and I remember when my parents told my younger siblings and me that we would be moving.
My heart sank. I just started primary school and had to leave my friends behind and start over again. The worst part, though, was that I had to leave my grandpa behind. I remember missing him so much, even though we visited him a couple of times a year.
I unconsciously created the same situation for my kids
In 2017, I moved to the Netherlands because I fell in love with an amazing man, as well as the country, its people, and its language. We got married and have a daughter and a son, whom we are raising trilingual. I love my life here, but I hate that my kids can’t see my parents whenever they want, since they live 400 miles away.
Although our kids don’t know it any differently, I remember how it felt to miss my grandfather, which is why my husband and I actively worked to create ways to keep our kids and their grandparents connected.
It’s essential to both of us that all four of them bond, get to know each other well, and create loving memories that they will cherish for a lifetime.
Ways we keep our kids connected with their grandparents
Our kids are 6 and 4 now, and since they were born, we have changed how we keep in touch with my parents.
First of all, we decided to visit my parents as often as possible. Since I am an entrepreneur who can work from anywhere, and my husband is working from home a lot, that wasn’t a problem for the first four years. Since our daughter started school, we’ve had to juggle a bit more, but we always make it work because it is our priority. Often, that means we’ll leave home at 2 p.m. and arrive at my parents’ around 9 p.m. to spend the weekend together.
Once a year, my parents and their dog come to the Netherlands for one to two weeks. They park their motorhome on our driveway and live with us during that time. They bring the kids to school and pick them up; they do fun stuff together, and in the evening, we cook and eat together.
And every summer we go on a 14-day vacation together. That’s our kids’ favourite time of the year. And frankly, mine, too, because I don’t have to work and can enjoy time with my parents. Another upside is that my husband and I can also spend quality time together, while the four of them create memories.
Besides that, they video call at least once a week to share what they’re experiencing in their lives. Well, sometimes the kids only want to see the dog and wave at her, but even that is a great bonding moment with lots of laughter.
Don’t dismiss the smaller things
Besides those active moments together, we also created an environment with smaller things we do to keep their grandparents in our daily life.
Our daughter has just started writing and sends a WhatsApp message occasionally. But we also share photos and videos whenever we can. For example, when our daughter learned a new move in her breakdance class, or our son proudly started his first swimming lesson.
We also craft and draw things for grandma or grandpa. We have a photo calendar in the living room that reminds us of the time we spent together.
We celebrate Halloween and Christmas together, and whenever possible, we meet for birthdays as well.
Sometimes it’s hard not to have them around every day. Still, distance doesn’t have to mean disconnection, and I’ve learned that with a bit of creativity and consistency, kids can grow up to truly know their grandparents, no matter how many miles separate them.
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