I have said it more than once, and I’ll say it again…. Buttrock has some bangers.
Growing up on the genre certainly skews your perspective, undoubtedly. So for someone like my wife, Shandi, who really didn’t, she is much less familiar with the songs and essentially avoids dad rock altogether. (It’s ok, the kids will back me up on this). There are even some songs that will cause a visceral reaction in her body. Which tells me that she is averse to it on a molecular level.
So, for the sake of entertaining strangers on the internet, we sat down with a bottle of Early Times and went through some songs to find ones that she hates the most. Round-for-round and track-for-track, I transcribed her hilariously inebriated reactions to the music that made me the man I am today, and… just please enjoy…
“How You Remind Me” – Nickelback
“This one’s personal. Because, during my years as a sandwich artist [Subway] when we were closing, we would lock the doors and turn up the radio while we cleaned up the olives, pickles, onions, etc.
“It was the worst part of the job, and it was the year this came out, so when I hear it, I smell olives.
“(Side note: I walked out of that job because one of my co-workers wouldn’t stop spraying me with a sink hose, and my boss still called to ask if I was coming back and I just didn’t.)”
“Down with the Sickness” – DISTURBED
“I don’t *hate* this one, but I am gonna make fun of it, to the point where even you don’t even want to listen to it again.”
“Bring me to life” – Evanescence
“It’s amazing, and no one should ever talk shit about Amy Evanescence, but… I wish I could hear any other song by them.
“As a feminist, I’m not allowed to dislike any song by a woman that made it to ‘dad rock’ status, regardless of my own personal preferences.”
“It’s not over” – Daughtry
*makes the most disgusted face I have ever seen*
“That sounds like Daughtry… I’m sorry.”
“Click Click Boom” — Saliva
*Disgusted face returns, turns to active hate*
“The Kill (Bury Me)” – 30 Seconds to Mars
“We don’t talk about Jared Leto.”
“It’s been a while” – Staind
“I would immediately skip it. Why would someone play this? There’s never an appropriate scenario for this song. I feel like you only accidentally listen to this song. Like, you’re at a party and this song came on. I can’t imagine a scenario when you’re like, “I really need to listen to Staind.”
The post I Can’t Stop Playing These 7 Buttrock Bangers—and My Wife Hates It appeared first on VICE.
