Auburn University’s alert system went bonkers. Students and faculty must have thought the world was ending as they were hit with three separate emergency messages in rapid succession—one warning of an active shooter, another of a tornado, and yet another about a hazardous materials spill.
“AN ALERT: THERE IS AN ACTIVE SHOOTER ON THE CAMPUS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL!” one message announced across phones and computers. It wasn’t real. Neither were the other two emergencies.
Auburn hadn’t descended into a way-too-on-the-nose Twilight Zone-esque satire on the modern world’s constant stream of overlapping horrors. It was just a technical error, according to the university.
After the panic, the university posted a statement apologizing for the mass panic and clarifying that “there was no threat to campus or the community. The alerts were triggered unintentionally, and we are actively working to resolve the issue to prevent future occurrences.”
Auburn University Accidentally Sent Every Emergency Alert At One Time
The emergency alert system glitched, turning into an apocalyptic jukebox that spat out nothing but hits. The only way the situation could have been heightened is if the emergency alert system spat out every warning it had on file.
This would be a fun way to find out that Auburn University has pre-made emergency alerts for alien invasions and the emergence of cannibalistic mole people. If I were a student, I would find it comforting to know that Auburn University has an emergency alert for chupacabra attacks ready to go, the way the New York Times probably has a premade celebrity obituary prepared to be published at a moment’s notice.
The alerts were just a glitch… this time. Unfortunately, we live in a world where these alerts are increasingly necessary and often real. However, there are probably many students who are thankful that these fake alerts give them an excuse to skip class that day.
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