From the opening scene of Sarah Friedland’s empathetic debut feature “Familiar Touch,” Ruth (Kathleen Chalfant) radiates a magnetic yet dubious sense of poise that undergirds the film’s careful balance of tragedy and hope.
Ruth, a woman with dementia who lives in a charming cottage-style home, prepares sandwiches and gets dolled up for an unknown visitor. A sheepish younger man joins her for lunch, and by her coy banter and playful pursed lips, we slowly realize that Ruth believes she is on a date.
The man, Steve (H. Jon Benjamin), turns out to be her son, making her display of sexuality feel uncomfortable — if, at the same time, a good reminder that older people have libidos, too. From the awkwardness of this attempted flirtation comes a poignant realization. Steve has arrived to move Ruth to an assisted living facility, provoking a sad, funny, confusing process of adaptation that doesn’t sensationalize Ruth’s tribulations.
Movies about dementia tend to do that: Think of the cruel reality-warping horrors of “The Father” or the magical weepie “The Notebook.” “Familiar Touch,” which sees Chalfant acting alongside the real inhabitants of an assisted living community, is a series of naturalistic vignettes that showcase Ruth’s struggle to maintain her identity in the face of a new life that she believes poses a threat to her sense of dignity.
The film is primarily a character study, subtly revealing details about Ruth’s past through her interactions with her new surroundings and neighbors (her lively responses to weekly medical exercises or taking command of the residential kitchen). Friedland does gesture at the larger context as well: the guilt of patients’ children; the beautiful yet fraught bonds forged between residents’ and their caretakers (Carolyn Michelle, who plays Ruth’s handler, is a quiet standout).
In the end, “Familiar Touch” reveals itself to be less about the agonies of change than in the concessions we make to feel closer to our loved ones and ourselves.
Familiar Touch
Not rated. Running time: 1 hour 30 minutes. In theaters.
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