Sting (now streaming on Hulu) is a ridiculous movie about a killer spider from outer space. At this point in the description, youâre either in and stocking up on cheap booze for the watch party, or youâre out and probably boring at parties. The film â set in Brooklyn but made in Australia and the accents sneak out a little here and there â is notable for star Alyla Browne, who we saw playing the young version of the title character in Furiosa. This time, however, instead of channeling that Charlize Theron energy, Browneâs part Sigourney Weaver and part Carrie Henn as she battles for survival in a creature feature. So should you get a big boot and squish this dumb movie, or make friends with it and feed it dead flies from the windowsill? Thatâs what Iâm here to determine. Itâs a living.
STING: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?
The Gist: Helga (Noni Hazlehurst), an old lady with dementia, sits knitting in her apartment. She hears something clunking around in the ducts. She calls the exterminator (Jermaine Fowler), who shows up looking a lot like a Ghostbuster â and then ends up being dragged screaming through the vent and into the bowels of the building. Shoulda brought the extra-strength Black Flag, I guess. Then, a Pulp Fiction title card: 4 DAYS EARLIER. A teensy meteor streaks through the sky over New York City and crashes through the window of a Brooklyn apartment. Out from the projectile hatches a little space spider, and out from the vent crawls Charlotte (Browne). She puts the liâl guy in a matchbox and scampers through the ductwork â these movies and their spacious, accommodating ductwork, always with the spacious, accommodating ductwork â back to her bedroom, where she puts the creature in a jar. Most kids donât like spiders as pets, but sheâs different, because with a name like Charlotte, sheâs cosmically compelled to do so.
Charlotte lives with her mother Heather (Penelope Mitchell) and stepdad Ethan (Ryan Corr) and baby half-brother. Their place is home to some stepdad awkwardness â these movies and their stepparent awkwardness, always with the stepparent awkwardness â and rebellious tweenisms. Itâs a little tense. At least Charlotte and Ethan have something that brings them together, a comic book that he draws and she writes. Ethanâs the super in the apartment building, spending his days Fonzie-pounding water heaters back to functionality, and constantly nagged by Gunter (Robyn Nevin), the landlady whoâs like Goth Helen Mirren on a harsh vodka bender. Charlotte keeps the spider a secret. She names him Sting. She doesnât realize that heâs from outer space, but she knows heâs far more intelligent than most spiders, since he mimics her whistles, and devours the roaches she feeds him with alarming haste. What she doesnât know is, Sting grows considerably with every meal, and he can unscrew the lid to his jar so he can wreak havoc.
Charlotte and co.âs building is full of people who make for excellent victi- er, neighbors. One is a lonely woman and her chihuahua, another is a weirdo who experiments on his pet fish and gives off major incel vibes. One night Sting escapes and crawls through the ductwork (note: heâs still fairly small, and normal ductwork in buildings you or I inhabit would accommodate him at this size) and, well, do you remember how Hannibal Lecter strung up and gutted that prison guard in Silence of the Lambs? Well, thatâs what I thought of upon seeing what Sting did to Gunterâs beloved pet parrot. The domestic drama among Charlotte and Heather and Ethan and the baby heats up but then must be set aside for survival purposes. I imagine battling a massive and malevolent spider from out of space works quite well to bring a fractured family together, but I still think therapy, expensive as it is, is still more practical.
What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: Writer-director Kiah Roache-Turner starts out with an E.T. homage, but eventually dives deep deep deep (deep!) into an Aliens pastiche. Iâm also guessing Arachnophobia is in his reference library, too. Delicatessen might be more of a stretch, but I felt it. And this is the second space-spider movie Iâve seen this calendar year, after that slab oâ Adam Sandler weirdness, Spaceman.
Performance Worth Watching: Turn Browne into the next tough-lady action star, please!
Memorable Dialogue: âIâm not drunk enough for this.â â Gunter, speaking on behalf of the audience
Sex and Skin: None.
Our Take: I mean, at one point Charlotte arms herself by strapping a super soaker over her shoulder, and the damn thing looks exactly like Ripleyâs pulse rifle â especially when sheâs in some utility room with dim ânâ flickery fluorescent lighting, her face glistening-damp with moisture. Itâs not sweat, but mothball water. Yeah, mothball water. Sting gets a little silly at times, enough so we know not to take it seriously, at least as anything more than Roache-Turner worshiping at the altar of his favorite genre films. He tweaks the formula a little bit, at least, because in this story, Newt actually is the one who ends up in charge.
Itâs absolutely for the better that the director keeps his tongue firmly in cheek. We get silly arachno-fakeouts where wejump at shots of tangled cables and the shadow of a potted hanging plant. Thereâs a subtle juxtaposition of baby drool and adult drool, and a subversion of the old Itâs Only A Cat scare, Roache-Turner tweaking it so Itâs Only A Chihuahua. I bristled at the movie trope where air vents are never screwed into the walls and therefore easy to remove, but hey, at least there isnât a scene where someone swallows a pill without water. All the visual effects are practical too, the ooey-gooey glop charmingly fake and tactile like plasticky Nickelodeon slime. Sure, it all feels familiar, sometimes too familiar. But in the name of cheap, amusing, moderately spirited entertainment, I can accept all of this.
Our Call: If youâre in the proper, preferably mildly buzzed headspace, you wonât be stung by Sting. STREAM IT.
John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
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