I watch a lot of TV. A lot. And no show has been on my mind like Nobody Wants This, Netflix’s new rom-com with millennial icons Adam Brody and Kristen Bell.
In fact, I’ve watched all 10 episodes twice now. (The ‘perks’ of getting screeners early.) When early buzz for Nobody Wants This started making the rounds, I got plenty of DMs asking me if I had seen it yet and what I thought. Without giving too much away—because I always want someone to form their own opinion first—I’d say, “I generally love it, but there’s some things to discuss. Message me once you watch.”
If my inbox is any indication, many of you already have. And the overall consensus is much of what I have always thought: Brody and Bell have undeniable chemistry, and it’s a genuinely funny show. It’s also incredibly refreshing to have two characters in their early 40s (though it’s not actually said how old Bell’s Joanne and Brody’s Noah are), who don’t have ex-spouses or kids, and who are having the kind of love story I don’t often see. Just ask my friends and I who are in our late 30s and 40s; it’s a demo that’s far too often left out of the conversation.
The fact that the biggest ‘issue’ for Noah (Brody) and Joanne (Bell) is that they don’t know if they’ll ever be able to make their relationship work given that he’s Jewish (okay, a rabbi, which certainly ups the stakes) and she’s agnostic, certainly adds to the obstacles in their way. But even without that, these are two adults, who no matter their years on earth, struggle with communication, jealousy, and being stuck in their ways just like anyone else.
The series is loosely inspired by creator Erin Foster’s own life. The former reality star (VH1’s Barely Famous) and fashion entrepreneur (Favorite Daughter) converted to Judaism prior to marrying her husband, Simon Tikhman (he’s an entertainment exec, not a rabbi). As a reform, and proud Jew, I was eager to see how she’d translate her story to the 10-episode, rom-com treatment, while at the same time being slightly apprehensive given how Jews, and Jewish stories, have often been portrayed in media.
Not to get off track too much, but for years, I wanted to see Hallmark embrace their love of the holiday season with a Hanukkah movie. They finally did—and continue to do so—but not without some cringeworthy stereotypes that sometimes make me wish they had waited until they got it right. If anything, I’d now rather see Jewish characters in Christmas movies, just existing and celebrating Hanukkah with the same joy and regularity as anyone who would celebrate Christmas. And I say the same for other faiths. The best way to normalize and introduce people to things they aren’t familiar with is to make them part of universal stories.
And that’s where I struggled with Nobody Wants This. While I love Noah’s commitment to Judaism, and just the fact that he’s one of the best TV boyfriends I’ve seen in some time, I can’t say the same about the other Jewish characters on the show—primarily the women. Would it be too much just to see Jewish characters in shows without feeling ‘othered?’
In fact, after I watched the first two episodes of Nobody Wants This, I called my mom and said, “I can’t imagine any guy who watches this show who would then say, ‘I really want to date a Jewish girl!’ We come off as controlling, marriage-hungry women who want to plan dinner parties and alienate anyone who doesn’t share those same dreams.”
Take Rebecca, Noah’s soon-to-be ex-girlfriend, who is so desperate to get engaged to him that she manages to find the key to his private desk drawer which stores the engagement ring he planned to give her, and then starts wearing it publicly. (“You were clearly going to propose anyway, and I don’t know what was taking so long. So now we can skip past the ‘Will you marry me?’ part because I say yes!” she says without realizing how delusional she sounds.)
Or what about Noah’s sister-in-law, Esther, who seems to exist on screen—at first—for the purpose of nagging her husband, Sasha. Granted, he often acts like a 13-year-old boy who would be totally lost without her, but it’s still such an outdated Jewish trope of the controlling/annoying wife who can’t stand their other half.
I give slightly more grace to the character of Bina, Noah and Sasha’s mother, who is an immigrant from Russia, and raised to believe that her sons can only marry a Jewish woman. It’s true for many Jewish families, and while so many Jewish mothers nowadays just want their kids to be happy—regardless of sexual orientation or religious beliefs in a partner—I have more understanding of the world she’s coming from.
But the moment that frustrated me the most occurs at the end of the first episode, in which Noah has just finished his sermon when a few Jewish mothers swarm him in hopes of introducing their single daughters to them. (If these mothers could have planned a wedding on the spot, they probably would have done that, too.) “She just got over shingles!” one exclaims. “She just graduated from hospitality school,” says another. It’s meant to be humorous, I guess, but it’s lazy and offensive. It’s all done, of course, so that Noah will excuse himself to say hello to Joanne, who has come to see him. When Esther asks Bina who that is, Noah’s mother angrily responds, “A shiksa,” as if she’s the number one enemy to Jewish single women everywhere.
As I look back, I’m a bit surprised I continued to watch. I love being Jewish, and I love that the Jewish religion has taught me to always welcome others and never leave anyone out. This scene at the temple is the exact opposite of what we Jews are taught to do—welcome thy neighbor. At a time when antisemitism is at the highest levels we’ve seen since the Holocaust, scenes like this hit me hard.
Call it curiosity, then, that I did watch more. And to my surprise, I really, really enjoyed it. As the series went on, Esther and Rebecca softened and became less like caricatures. Joanne made an effort to learn about Noah’s world, and he hers. (Granted, she’s far from ‘perfect’ either.) I could say more about the way Joanne and her sister, Morgan, are lionized by the Jewish guys in the show, which again, felt stereotypical, but for the most part, I was so invested in Noah and Joanne’s charming, hilarious, and sexy relationship to let it get to me.
So with all that said, yes, I really enjoyed Nobody Wants This. A lot. And I want more. But in 2024, I also want better Jewish female representation. And I hope that’s something we can all agree on.
The post Netflix’s Nobody Wants This and the Persistent Jewish Stereotype appeared first on Glamour.