When I was 14 years old, I became aware that I wanted to feel the effects of alcohol. I had a few drinks at a friend’s house when his parents weren’t home and quickly felt relaxed, uninhibited, and fearless.
I was convinced that alcohol was the cure for what bothered me at that time, namely issues related to feelings of inferiority, alienation, irritability, and trauma.
Twenty years later, I was aware that I was dying of alcoholism and no longer wanted to feel the effects of alcohol, which included isolation, depression, hopelessness, and suicidal ideation.
I’ll spare you the details from two decades of active alcoholism, but I will share that my dependency issues got progressively worse. They stole my joy and purpose. They eradicated my moral and ethical codes. They created mental anguish and compounded existing emotional turmoil.
They discouraged positive hygiene habits or any form of self-care. They cost me hundreds of dollars, or more, every month as I consumed many bottles of liquor a day. They lead to co-addictive issues with other harmful substances and unwholesome behaviors. They wrecked my body and severed any conscious contact I had with my soul or spirit. Ultimately, they eroded my human will to live.
There can be a lot of shame and stigmatization associated with addictions. This is the main reason those who suffer from substance use disorders do not seek help. However, we must become aware that alcoholism affects all types of people.
Alcoholism does not care if we are mothers and fathers, sons and daughters, uncles and aunts, educated or not, wealthy or not, employed or not, young or old, married or divorced, religious or secular. Alcoholism will victimize anyone it can at any time.
Fortunately, I found a group of recovered alcoholics and asked them for help. They freely shared their experience, strength, hope, and specific steps anyone can take to find recovery. I took their suggestions and I’ve been gratefully sober ever since, for 15 years.
In celebration of Alcohol Awareness Month in the U.S., I would like to share two key elements about the nature of alcoholism so those who need help can receive it without fear of embarrassment, rejection, or judgment, and they may be supported by people who can offer empathy, encouragement, and kindness.
These concepts come from more than a dozen years of personal and professional experience becoming aware of causes, conditions, traumas, and triggers that lead to alcoholism and similar dependency issues.
Alcoholism is Not a Choice
Alcoholics do not drink because they want to. They drink because they feel they need to or have to. They drink to obliterate their consciousness. They wish to escape reality—not to feel anything, to zone out, check out, numb out.
They try to leave their body and disassociate from horrors within their mind. They want to forget the memories that plague them. They hope to obliterate racing thoughts, resentments, grudges, attachments, traumas, and disillusionments that create pain and suffering.
Alcohol simply provides a temporary respite from life as it is. It’s a timeout from being alive. Most active alcoholics are unaware of how to deal with life in the present moment so they alter their mindset to deaden their senses which creates distance between their consciousness and the rest of the world.
Recovery is Possible
When an alcoholic becomes aware of why they drink, they can address real problems and find viable solutions. For example, suppose an alcoholic realizes they drink because they’re sad or lonely, once the original causes of sadness or loneliness are identified. In that case, these feelings can be processed, healed, and transformed.
This exploratory and necessary type of experiential work can be done therapeutically through cognitive-behavioral modalities such as the Twelve Steps—spiritually through yogic principles and practices, and secularly via mindfulness exercises and evidence-based programs.
Each alcoholic will individually respond to various treatments that root out repressed emotions and feelings, unresolved mental issues, and distressing physical experiences that instigate drinking.
When an alcoholic remembers that drinking is but an outward behavior to avoid unprocessed inner struggles, solutions will be found, and lasting freedom, contentment, and peace will manifest.
If you are struggling with alcoholism, remember you are not alone. You can recover. You don’t need to fight this battle by yourself. If you need help, ask for it.
Reach out to a trusted friend or community member. Find virtual or in-person therapy sessions. Attend a Twelve Step meeting or similar group with like-minded people who are also seeking recovery, healing, and transformation. In the U.S., call or text 988, and chat at 988lifeline.org. To get additional support for mental health concerns about alcoholism, visit FindSupport.gov.
Brian Hyman is a certified yoga and meditation teacher, recovery activist, and father. He’s been sober since 2009 and has been teaching yoga at Cliffside Malibu since 2012.
Brian is the author of Recovery with Yoga: Supportive Practices for Transcending Addiction (Shambhala Publications/Penguin Random House). His courses on Insight Timer include “Recovery: Principles for a Purposeful Life” and “Emotional Sobriety: Finding Freedom, Harmony, and Peace in Recovery.”
All views expressed in this article are the author’s own.
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