Gillian writes: My partner routinely turns off lights that I have just turned on, leaving me fumbling around in the dark, trying not to step on the cat. (My eyesight isn’t the best.) He also installed a solar panel on our fire escape and is experimenting with charging his phone with saltwater. I consider myself a conscientious consumer of electricity, too. But sometimes I want the lights on because I need them to see.
The kind of psychological manipulation we call “gaslighting” has evolved a lot from its original definition: “making Ingrid Bergman think she is losing her mind in the movie ‘Gaslight.’” But your guy is really Charles Boyer-ing it! He’s literally turning the lights off on you and calling it normal. But it’s not. There is no virtue in his solar panel/saltwater charging hobby that outweighs your cat’s need to survive and your own dignity. You deserve to live in the light!
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