Washington’s highest profile politicians were mocked at the 2023 White House Correspondents’ Dinner.
The “Daily Show’s” Roy Wood Jr. roasted President Biden, former President Donald Trump, serial liar Rep. George Santos, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and fallen cable news stars Don Lemon and Tucker Carlson at the 2023 White House Correspondents’ Dinner Saturday night.
“Is Joe Biden awake?’ ‘ Wood joked.
“Say what you want with our president — when he wakes up from that nap. Work gets done. He might doze off but then it’s the infrastructure bill.”
He mocked Biden’s at-times slow, stilted speech.
“Student loan forgiveness. Bring Brittney Griner home,’ Wood Jr. said, Wood slurred.
Biden also took a ribbing about classified documents discovered in his Delaware car garage.
“Real quick, Mr. President, I think you left some of your classified documents up here. … I’ll put them in a safe place, he don’t know where to keep them,” the comedian said.
The comic, who is black, quipped, “Half of this room think I’m Kenan Thompson. The other half think I’m Louis Armstrong.
“President Biden think I’m the daddy on “Family Matters.”
Biden, 80, also poked fun at his octogenarian status during his rebuttal.
“Call me old, I call it being seasoned. You say I am ancient, I say I’m wise” Biden said.
“You say I’m over the hill, Don Lemon would say, ‘That’s a man in his prime,’” the president joked, referencing the ousted CNN anchor’s controversial comment about Nikki Haley being “past her prime.”
Donald Trump’s criminal indictment and legal controversies were also played for laughs.
“Keeping up with Donald Trump scandals is like watching Star Wars movies, Donald Trump is the only politician whose scandals got spin offs on Disney,” Wood cracked of the ex-prez — who famously boycotted the annual yuck fest during his entire term.
“That Trump arrest, it didn’t do what I thought it was going to do. The Trump arrest was like a pot brownie you ate four hours ago. You’re like, ‘Hmm, do I feel justice? This don’t feel like justice.’”
The Daily Show correspondent also targeted serial lying Long Island Rep. George Santos’ fibs.
“I’d like to stop right now, and congratulate tonight’s top scholarship recipient: Arizona State senior George Santos. Oh yeah, George couldn’t be here tonight. He’s auditioning for “`RuPaul’s Drag Race.’” We say good luck to you, George,” Wood joked.
The departures of CNN’s Don Lemon and Fox News’ Tucker Carlson also took the spotlight.
“Yes, Don Lemon was a diva and he said a couple of women are raggedy in the face. But that’s a promotion at Fox News,” he riffed.
“My dog, Don Lemon. Don Lemon released a statement saying he got fired from CNN, then CNN released a statement saying that they offered Don a meeting. They had to part ways, because Don Lemon can’t even accurately report a story about Don Lemon.”
Of Tucker Carlson’s exit, Wood said, “Some people celebrating. But to Tucker’s staff I want you to know that I know what you’re feeling. I work at `The Daily Show’ so I, too, have been blindsided by the sudden departure of the host of a fake news program.”
“We gotta get Tucker Carlson back on the air, mister president, because right now, there’s millions of Americans who don’t even know why they hate you,” Wood added.
He continued, “I think we should give credit where credit is due,” he teased. “Tucker Carlson is the first host to get fired by Fox News for something that’s only partially about how he treats women. That’s progress! He shattered the a—– ceiling!”
Wood also poked fun as Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas’ ethics controversies.
Speaking of Harlan Crow, the billionaire who paid for Thomas’ luxurious vacations: “This man bought a Supreme Court Justice. Do you understand how rich you have to be to buy a Supreme Court justice, a Black one on top of that? There’s only two in stock, and Harlan Crow owns half the inventory.”
He added, “You are trying to erase Black people and a lot of Black people wouldn’t mind some of that erasure as long as that Black person is Clarence Thomas.”
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, a Republican likely to run for president, was mocked for attacking critical race theory.
“Ask any Republican [to] try to explain CRT, they sound like a Democrat trying to explain the charges against Trump,” Wood said.
He also tweaked Sir Rupert Murdoch, chairman of The Post and parent company News Corp.
“You might think I don’t like Rupert Murdoch. That’s simply not true. How can I dislike a guy who makes me look like Harry Styles?” he said, referring to the Grammy Award winning British singer.
Former Vice President Dick Cheney also landed on Wood’s radar.
“At the end of the day, [being] the vice president, the only thing you got to do is just be better than Dick Cheney. … They made a documentary about Dick Cheney. Now, I don’t know much about the job of vice president, but I do know if they can make a documentary about your time as vice president, you vice president-ed incorrectly,” he said.
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