A man has been backed after he laughed at his wife’s name choice for their new baby.
In a post on Reddit‘s r/AmITheA****** the 35-year-old user u/CranberryJust1503 shared how he had ended up in an argument with his pregnant wife over the name.
“She’s due in 2 weeks and I am beyond excited because this would be my first child and I’ve always wanted to be a dad,” he wrote. “Yesterday, we were in bed together, talking about our baby. All of a sudden she jumps up excited with a huge smile on her face. She told me to stay on the bed because she had a surprise for me. She went into our closet and grabbed a box. It was decorated with ribbons and bows so I assumed it was a gift for me. She handed it to me with the same big grin on her face. It was obvious she was excited to see my reaction.”
When he opened the box, inside there was a blue onesie with the name “Bartholomew” stitched in the center in cursive.
“Now, I had agreed that I’d let my wife name the baby since she was the one giving birth and I felt as if it would be something really special for her so I trusted she’d name my son something at least normal. I asked her what it meant and she said ‘Surprise!! That’s going to be his name,’” explained the father-to-be. “She sounded so happy and enthusiastic so I knew she was serious. I burst out laughing to the point of tears.”
He explained that she did not take his reaction well and was upset that he did not like the name.
“She got really silent and started tearing up. When I noticed this, I sat up and stopped laughing. She snatched the box off me and stomped back to the closet. I asked her if she was serious and she said yes,” he explained. “Apparently she’s decided to name our son after her grandfather who she was very close with before he died. I told her that she should think about this because it’s an outdated name.”
But furious, she started yelling at him and stormed out, leaving to stay with her mom. After the argument, other family members contacted the man and told him that he was wrong to have dismissed the name so quickly.
Baby names often cause debate and discussion among families, from mother-in-laws admitting they’re “not a fan” of a chosen name to parents being urged not to use unusual names.
Celebrity name consultant and founder of the Baby Name Envy consultancy based in the U.K, SJ Strum, told Newsweek: “Making a choice to honor a family member at a very emotional time should be a lovely moment. Having a negative reaction isn’t acceptable; phrasing it like—hmm that’s more vintage than I’d like; can we pick a second name and see which feels best? Or I really love honoring your loved one, could we pop it in the middle and see if something else comes up I fall more in love with?
“He’s made a big mistake and hurt her feelings at a vulnerable moment and needs to make amends by coming up with a better name list,” she added. “He can’t take it off the table and expect her to rename the baby alone again.”
The father-to-be opting to allow his wife to choose their baby’s name alone is an unusual choice. SJ Strum explained that while one partner often takes the lead, it is better for the decision to be a joint one.
“A name is the first biggest parenting choice you’re going to make; do it as a team – show you care, be enthusiastic, come up with ideas, watch a name video on YouTube and jot down names you like,” she suggested.
In over 6,200 comments though, Reddit users backed the father-to-be: “Names need to be 2 yeses. She may be carrying the baby, but she doesn’t get carte blanche in naming him,” said one commenter.
Another reply said: “If my parents saddled me with some name like that I’d be the first person in line on my 18th birthday to legally change it.”
What if Your Partner Hates Your Name Choice?
Disagreements about what to name a newborn aren’t uncommon, but what should you do if you can’t agree on a name for your new baby?
“We navigate this with couples all the time, it could be time to use a baby name consultant to give you a similar name-style choice,” said SJ Strum. “Or put it in the middle spot—that’s why ‘brave middle names’ are such a thing. Or a middle name after one family member whose name you don’t love enough to make top spot. A middle name will still bring you joy but one parent doesn’t have to cringe when they announce the baby name.”
Where couples are struggling to agree on a name, SJ Strum explained that parents will often reach a compromise by putting all the names they both like in a shortlist and work from there. Similarly, it can be helpful to choose a theme to base a name on.
“Agreeing a theme is a great way to ensure you’ll both have a reason to love the name—an outdoorsy family with the name Oakley meaning tree in a meadow, a couple who love travel with the name Farah meaning to wander, a couple who love Harry Potter might want a name like Luna,” said SJ Strum. “A theme can steer you to a unique name that fits a special place in both your hearts. It’s very very hard to give up on a name you love; but there will be a perfect name out there you’ll both be proud to call your special newborn.”
Newsweek has reached out to u/CranberryJust1503 for comment. We were not able to verify the details of this case.
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