The internet has urged a new mom to go on a bachelorette trip with her girlfriends after her husband tried to guilt trip her into backing out, saying her child is too young for her to leave.
In a post shared on Mumsnet last Friday, under the username Soon2bemumoftwo, the new mom of two, a 21-month-old baby, and two-and-a-half month baby, explained that recently she got into an argument with her husband regarding a trip she had agreed to go on a long time ago.
According to wedding planning website The Knot, the vast majority of couples are opting for overnight events for their bachelorette parties, with 97 percent of them renting homes or hotel suites for a getaway.
The poster said that before having her second child, her best friend, who is getting married soon, began organizing her bachelorette trip, which will take place four hours away from home over a period of three days. She initially agreed to go, but now that it’s getting closer to the date, her husband is saying that she shouldn’t go because her child is too small to part with her, and he’ll get “anxious.”
“I will add he attended a wedding abroad for 4 days whilst I was 8 months pregnant with a toddler to look after at home with no issues and when asked about his friend who also attended the wedding leaving a 2-month-old and 20-month-old at home he said he didn’t think there was anything wrong with that either as it was a wedding not a just a hen/stag do,” she said.
Soula Hareas, a licensed mental health counselor at McNulty Counseling and Wellness, told Newsweek that it’s very important for moms to get time for themselves in order to recharge.
She said: “Most moms feel guilty doing this and it begins a cycle that could lead to years of never taking time to [do] anything they want to do and instead only focusing on the needs of their family. This is why many moms feel that once they become moms they lose a sense of identity. It is healthy for moms to do trips like the Bachelorette party.
I understand that her husband may feel overwhelmed but this can be remedied with proper planning and honest communication. If the dad had concerns he should have voiced them from the start because the way he went about it now will just make her feel like she can’t rely on his ‘yes’ in the future and she may feel like she shouldn’t even ask next time because it’s not worth getting her hopes up.”
According to Hareas, when a mom has this time to herself, she comes back refreshed and with more energy, as time away allows her to blow off some steam and alleviate her stress, and unless the husband is worried that the people she is going with are irresponsible, or the place they are going is dangerous, he should her encourage to take the time for herself and enjoy some female bonding time celebrating her friend.
Dad Can Take Care of the Kids
Most users agreed the poster is not being unreasonable by relying on her husband to take care of their children while she spends a weekend with her friends. One user, twinkletwinkle89, commented: “Absolutely go! It’s just your husband not wanting to do his fair share of the work!”
StrawHatOnTheParcelShelf said: “I wouldn’t personally leave a 4-month-old for a 3-day piss up either, but if I did make that decision I wouldn’t expect their father to be guilt tripping me about it. Especially one who thinks it’s fine for men.”
Another user, Summerlark wrote: “At that age, I went on a 10-day tropical holiday with my husband. The children stayed home with the live-in nanny we hired for the 10 days. We kept that up for a number of years and the children had a great time with their nannies – we left plenty of money for outings and trips and food shopping etc. Apparently, our annual job was highly sought after at the nanny agency.”
And amylou8 added: “Go! Babies need to be cuddled, fed, and kept clean. As long as they’re not reliant on your boob dad is just as capable as you, whatever he or the mighty Mumsnet might try and tell you.”
Newsweek wasn’t able to verify the details of the case.
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