Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
A Christmas Miracle
“Oh, Santa, you got my letter!” Stephen Colbert riffed on the news.
“Trump is bragging it’s the most counts ever.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“And you know what that means? Donald Trump is going to prison — to visit all the lower-ranking people that did this without his knowledge or his permission.” — TREVOR NOAH
“Nothing ever happens to Donald Trump. He’ll probably try to convince us he’s never even heard of the Trump Organization.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“All the successes and Trump’s organization, they are due to the genius of Donald Trump. All the crimes, he had no idea. He’s like, [imitating Donald Trump] ‘That’s right, folks. I have zero control over the things I run, which is why you should vote for me to run the country so I can run it like one of my companies, which I don’t even run. I don’t even run.’” — TREVOR NOAH
“What happened was, top execs in the organization got around paying their fair share of taxes through a series of schemes that included off-the-books perks like luxury cars and free apartments. Because nothing makes you look less guilty than giving all your execs a getaway car and a hide-out.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“There’s no word yet on how this is going to impact Trump’s re-election campaign. The reason for that is that it probably won’t.” — JAMES CORDEN
“Executives in the organization received fancy apartments, Mercedes-Benzes, even private school tuition for relatives, none of which they paid tax on. I just have to ask: Are they hiring?” — JAMES CORDEN
“I don’t get this — how is the organization guilty, but not Donald Trump? This is like if McDonald’s got in trouble, but the Hamburglar got off scot-free.” — JAMES CORDEN
The Punchiest Punchlines (Herschel Walker’s Last Push Edition)
“In Georgia, Raphael Warnock and Herschel Walker are going head-to-head injury in the Senate runoff.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Walker spent the day making one final push, which is unusual for him. Usually during the final push, he’s miles away from the hospital at a Waffle House telling a waitress she could be ‘the one.’”— JIMMY KIMMEL
“Voters were out at the polls all day, and at 11:35 Eastern time, with 0 percent of precincts reporting, because we taped the show at 5:30, ‘The Late Show’ is ready to project that Herschel Walker does not belong in the Senate.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“The U.S. Senate is no place for people whose brains don’t work because of football injuries; it’s a place for people whose brains don’t work because they’re 1,000 years old.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“It’s not like Herschel didn’t try — he spent years fathering as many voters as possible.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph appeared on Tuesday’s “Late Night,” where they challenged Seth Meyers to ask them a tough question.
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
The Linda Lindas will perform on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
Also, Check This Out
Emma Corrin straddles genders and centuries in Neil Bartlett’s breezy adaptation of Virginia Woolf’s novel “Orlando,” now playing at the Garrick Theater in London.
The post Stephen Colbert Thanks Santa After Trump Organization Is Found Guilty appeared first on New York Times.