Jessie James Decker revealed that she’s struggling with body image issues and is in a “cycle” of obsessive weight fluctuation.
“I’ve been battling some body image issues, and when I really think about it, I probably always have,” Decker, 34, wrote in an emotional Instagram post on Thursday. “I go from one extreme to being obsessed with working out and being muscular to thin and just giving up and gaining because the food makes me feel better.”
The “Lights Down Low” singer called the flux a vicious “cycle” that keeps getting “worse.”
Decker also admitted that her mental health has been suffering, and sometimes all she can do is “break down and cry.”
She continued, “It’s up-and-down [sic]. There have been really beautiful, amazing moments but also some pretty low lows.
“My anxiety has gotten worse, my self-esteem, my confidence.”
The Kittenish founder — who shares three children with her husband, former NFL star Eric Decker — said she knows she has a “very blessed life,” but still struggles and cries over “family issues” she had “a couple years ago.”
In May, Jessie’s brother, John James, revealed he and his country-star sister reconnected after not speaking for several years.
“I was really on the fence about going because I just didn’t want to go and then it be awkward — granted, you know, some of us haven’t talked in years,” James, 27, said of the reunion at the time. “But we decided to do that for [our mom]. And it was honestly amazing.”
While Jessie claimed she would have “never chosen to deal with [the issues] publicly,” the family’s drama has been the subject of much internet chatter — particularly on Reddit — in the past.
“[It] kills me a little every day and makes me wonder what my purpose in this business is,” she added. “And truthfully makes me consider quitting everything sometimes and disappear.”
Lastly, the former reality star blamed her recent bout with COVID-19, which caused her to cancel some tour dates, for sending her “down a spiral again” into depression.
“I feel like I try to only post the good sometimes, but I think being open an honest will also help me heal through this. I know I’m not alone. And I wanted you to know you’re not alone too. I’m working through it and navigating daily on how to heal.”
Fans sent Jessie words of encouragement after her emotional note.
“Your vulnerability is so inspiring Sending you so so much love!” one fan wrote.
Another added, “ you’re not alone.”
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