Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘Male Pattern Fraudness’
Late-night hosts were not surprised to hear that New York State’s attorney general, Letitia James, is accusing Donald Trump’s family business of repeatedly misrepresenting the value of its assets.
“One year ago today, Donald Trump was still in the White House, throwing chicken nuggets at the TV, and one year from today, he could be in jail,” Jimmy Kimmel said.
“According to documents filed by the attorney general in New York last night, they’ve uncovered evidence that indicates the Trump Organization repeatedly engaged in ‘fraudulent or misleading’ practices. The walls appear to be closing in on Trump — big, beautiful walls.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“James says that her office has uncovered significant evidence that the former president fraudulently valued multiple assets, including his own private residence. He claimed the triplex apartment was 30,000 square feet in size, but the actual size was just under 11,000 square feet. Yeah, that’s no surprise — he’s known for falsely tripling the size of his assets.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“You know how when people are shocked, they spit out their water? When I heard Donald Trump exaggerated the value of his assets for the purposes of lying to banks and the I.R.S., it was so the reverse of shocking, I sucked the water back into my mouth.” — SETH MEYERS
“But this is nice, they’re interviewing Donald Jr., Ivanka, and have already talked to Eric, making this the first time Tiffany was happy to be excluded.” — JAMES CORDEN
“But it’s a fairly straightforward case. To find fraud in a business, you just have to look for the signs — particularly the signs at the top of the building that say ‘Trump’ on them — and you will find it there. There is where you will find his male pattern fraudness.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“I mean, at the same time, Donald Trump does not give a [expletive]. Let’s be honest: This dude will brag about himself even if it gets him in trouble. I bet when a cop asks him if he knows how fast he was going, he’s like, ‘Yeah, I do, 400 billion miles a second, the fastest anyone has ever gone. I was so fast. So fast.’” — TREVOR NOAH
The Punchiest Punchlines (How Long Was It? Edition)
“President Biden today gave his first press conference in a long time, and it went on for a long time. It may be still going, I don’t know.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“It comes one day before his presidency hits the one-year mark, and he used the opportunity to highlight his administration’s key successes — successes such as vaccinating millions of Americans, low unemployment, and casually hooking up with Pete Davidson.” — JAMES CORDEN
“And this was smart: to make Biden look good, they had the C.D.C. director go out first and open for him.” — JIMMY FALLON
“The press conference kicked off at 4 p.m. You can tell it was really important for Biden because that’s right in the middle of dinner.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Yeah, it was his first formal press conference at the White House since March of last year. In Biden’s defense, that one just wrapped up a few days ago.” — JIMMY FALLON
“For almost two hours, Biden took question after question about Russia, Covid, voter rights. He really got into why Denny’s breakfast menu is so sticky all the time.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“The president took a lot of questions, too many questions. You know how at the end of most press conferences, the reporters are yelling ‘Mr. President, Mr. President!’? At the end of this one, they were like, ‘Goodbye. We’re good. We got plenty.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
On Wednesday’s “Tonight Show,” Christine Baranski said fans who mistake her for her sophisticated characters wouldn’t believe how loud she gets when watching the Buffalo Bills.
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
Twitter legend Dionne Warwick will pop by Thursday’s “Late Show.”
Also, Check This Out
Kathy Griffin’s career hasn’t recovered from a 2017 Trump joke, and now she’s hoping to find her way back onto the D-list.
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