Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
How Rich Is He?
Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, has purchased a new superyacht so large, it requires a second support yacht with a helipad.
“The pandemic has been a boom time for billionaires, and they are using their profits to give back to hard-hit communities, as long as those communities build giant, shiny new yachts,” Colbert joked on Tuesday night.
“Today, we learned that Bezos will soon receive delivery of a $500 million megayacht. Don’t know exactly when it will be delivered, but we do know it will come in a much bigger box.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“The yacht is 417 feet long. It’s so big, the Suez Canal would get stuck in it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“The founder of Amazon is reportedly building a $500 million superyacht that is so big, it requires a ‘support yacht’ to travel with it. This is like the billionaire version of having a second fridge in your garage.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“It sounds like an old-time comedian’s routine, doesn’t it? Jeff Bezos is so rich, even his boats have got boats. Bezos is so rich, when he goes to the A.T.M., the A.T.M. asks him for money.” — JAMES CORDEN
“Truth is, Bezos didn’t really need the support yacht, but Amazon did one of these upsells where they go, ‘People who buy this, also buy this.’” — JAMES CORDEN
“You can tell which one is the support yacht because it has that little vest. That way, you can take the yacht on the plane with you.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Here’s why Bezos needs it: The mommy yacht will be powered with the assistance of three giant masts, and those sails mean it will not support a helipad, so they need a separate ship with a dedicated landing facility. I mean, who hasn’t needed a separate yacht just for his helicopter?” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Bezos is truly is an everyman in that he has the combined wealth of every man. See you at the show trials, Jeff!” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Subway Vax Edition)
“Well, here in New York City, it was just announced that some subway stations are offering Covid vaccines. Yep, first they sterilize your arm with a $2 bottle of vodka and a paper bag that was left in the seat, then they hold the shot near your arm and a parkour dancer kicks it in.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Starting tomorrow, New Yorkers will be able to get the vaccine at subway and train stations. Sounds sterile.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“That’s just what the subway needed, more random Band-Aids and needles on the ground.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Because I can’t think of a better place to experience the side effects of the vaccine than the bathroom of the Times Square Olive Garden.” — JAMES CORDEN
“Mayor De Blasio announced a list of incentives to get people vaccinated, including free food, free tickets to events and the opportunity for one lucky vaccinee to be starting quarterback for the New York Jets this season.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Because if there’s one thing everybody thinks in the subway, it’s, ‘I wish I could have a medical procedure down here.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“There won’t be a need for a follow-up appointment, because officials will use the Johnson & Johnson vaccine at the stations. Sure, they say that, but halfway through, they’ll switch to Moderna for no reason, and then you’ll have to get off at 14th Street to wait for another shot.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
Michelle Obama followed in her husband’s wake, taking on Stephen Colbert in a game of wastepaper basketball during her “Late Show” interview.
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
Lisa Kudrow will appear on Wednesday night’s “Conan.”
Also, Check This Out
Krysta Rodriguez took inspiration from playing Liza Minnelli in the new Netflix series “Halston” to design the interior of her Harlem condo.
The post Stephen Colbert Roasts Jeff Bezos for His ‘Support Yacht’ appeared first on New York Times.