Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Blame It on Biden
President Trump’s town hall in Philadelphia was the talk of late night on Wednesday. The audience “wasn’t Trump’s usual rabid rally crowd — it was made up of undecided voters,” Stephen Colbert noted.
“Wow, undecided!” the “Late Show” host said. “I assume the night started with each of them being roused from a coma: ‘What year is it? Who’s president? Put me back! Put me back!’”
The hosts were particularly amazed when Trump seemed to blame Joe Biden for the lack of a national mask mandate.
“Yeah, Trump has a good point here — why hasn’t Joe Biden instituted a national mask mandate? And don’t say it’s because he’s not the president and doesn’t have any power — that’s not an excuse!” — TREVOR NOAH
“Even more upsetting, in response Joe Biden was like, ‘Wait, am I the president?’” — JIMMY FALLON
“After a town hall participant confronted President Trump last night over his lack of support for a national face mask mandate, Trump said, quote, ‘There are a lot of people that think that masks are not good.’ It’s true. I mean, not as many as there used to be, of course.’” — SETH MEYERS
“Look, guys, between this and blaming riots on Joe Biden, either Trump is delusional, or he’s slowly trying to Jedi-mind-trick America into thinking that Biden has been president this whole time. [Imitating Trump] ‘Guys, if you want four more years of this disaster, by all means, re-elect President Biden. You saw how crazy it was. Maybe this time you should pick an outsider.’” — TREVOR NOAH
“Guess what, Donald? There’s only one man responsible for fixing all of America’s problems, and it’s not Joe Biden — it’s Jared Kushner!” — TREVOR NOAH
“Hey, maybe I should start pulling this move, just blaming [expletive] on people who have nothing to do with anything. Just walking into a 7-Eleven like, ‘You guys didn’t set my DVR last night and now I missed Game 7!’” — TREVOR NOAH
“The town hall audience was made up of undecided voters, but after about five minutes most of them were like, ‘Can I go home if I just decided?’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Yeah, it was a rough night for Trump. Usually when someone gets beat up that much in Philly, they get sent to live with their auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (Herd Something Edition)
“During last night’s ABC News town hall, President Trump mistakenly claimed that people would be protected from the coronavirus when they develop a, quote, ‘herd mentality.’ Now, obviously what he meant to say was, ‘I am bad at this and I resign.’” — SETH MEYERS
“You mean herd immunity. Herd mentality is what it’s called when you kill 200,000 people and supporters vote for you anyway.” — SETH MEYERS
“OK, I think he meant ‘herd immunity,’ which is a large group of people developing immunity by sharing the disease freely, resulting in massive loss of life. ‘Herd mentality’ is a bunch of people in red caps at an indoor rally during a pandemic, resulting in massive loss of life.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“It’s like his brain was thinking Fox News but his mouth was thinking Animal Planet.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
The “Full Frontal with Samantha Bee” correspondent Naomi Ekperigin investigated Instagram activism.
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
The “Ratched” star Sarah Paulson will talk with Stephen Colbert on Thursday’s “Late Show.”
Also, Check This Out
Jim Carrey will play Joe Biden on “Saturday Night Live” when the show returns in October.
The post Stephen Colbert Can’t Believe There Are Undecided Voters appeared first on New York Times.