Former Vice President Joe Biden is expected to make his highly anticipated running-mate pick any day now. But before he does, The Daily Show made the case for one more out-of-left-field candidate.
“All of those candidates are definitely qualified to be Biden’s VP,” Trevor Noah said Monday night of the presumed shortlist. “But when making his choice, Biden has to consider all of their potential landmines for him.”
Susan Rice? “Benghazi baggage.” Kamala Harris? “Strict prosecutor.” Elizabeth Warren? “Could turn off moderates.” Gretchen Whitmer? “Is white.” The host joked that Biden’s decision is “like The Bachelor, but here there’s a chance a Black woman might get picked.”
With all of that in mind, Noah decided to engage in some more “pointless speculation” with the help of correspondent Jaboukie Young-White.
“You know, Trevor, there’s a very obvious choice here,” Young-White said, arguing that Biden should be looking at someone “fresh” and “exciting.” For him the “only person” who can round out the Democratic ticket is rapper Cardi B. He predicted that she could attract young voters as well as progressives because she openly campaigned for Bernie Sanders during the primary.
“And she brings in a huge community that has exploded since the beginning of quarantine, which is the horny community” he continued.
When Noah protested that conservatives will be horrified by her new song “WAP,” AKA “Wet-Ass Pussy,” Young-White had the perfect retort. “Those conservatives are being hypocrites,” he said. “They were perfectly OK with Trump saying he would grab people by the pussy.”
“So you really, really think that Cardi B should be Biden’s VP?” Noah asked.
“Definitely, Trevor,” Young-White replied. “Think about how great it would be to see Cardi B on that stage, in that dress, debating Mike Pence. He would evaporate into a puddle of oat milk immediately.”
“Look, clearly, Cardi is the pick that America needs,” he added. “She’s someone who can inspire people—inspire women to believe in themselves. And take what’s rightfully theirs. And she lets all of us know that in America, we’re ready for some big, veiny, throbbing, juicy structural change. Cardi B for W.A.V.P.: Wet-Ass Vice President.”
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